Tag Archives: unConstitutional

The Kidnappers At Your Door

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doorknockYour day is average. You wake up, get dressed, have some quiet time. You then wake up the children, have breakfast, get ready for the day.
Maybe you homeschool, maybe you send them off to public school – but you get on with your day.

Later, you hear a knock at your door. You or one of your children innocently opens the door, ready with a smile and a “hello?”

There are two people before you, dressed nicely, with slight smiles across their lips. They look friendly enough.
They begin to tell you who they are, and as they speak, you realize that they wield a power over you and your children that no one should be able to. They tell you that they are paid by others to take children from families – that your family is under their watchful eye and they will take your children from you at a moments notice, if they see any opportunity arise for them to do so. They tell you they have helpers who whisper things about your family to them, making sure you are aware that anyone in your sphere of friends, family, or neighbors could be a willing pawn in a sick kidnapping ring. They leave, giving you no closure, no awareness of an end. Only the grim reality that you should trust no one, even when you are being trustworthy… because you never know for sure who it is that could turn on your family and help your children be stolen.

As days and weeks drag by, you worry about letting your children play outside – what if that choice makes the people at your door desirous to take your children?. You worry about having them playing inside and they make loud noises – what if that makes the people at your door desirous to take your children? You worry about if they fall from their bike and get hurt… should you stay home and deal with it or take them to a doctor?… either choice can leave your family vulnerable to the eyes and minds of the kidnappers at your door.

Finally, a random detail of your life, one normal and regular to the people in your community, results in the people at your door, breaking into your home in the middle of the night and dragging your crying, screaming, terrified children into their vehicles, while you are crying, begging and pleading for your children’s lives to remain healthy and intact with you. They tell you that someone higher up demanded that this happen now. Your screams, and those of your children, fall on greedy, deaf, uncaring ears.

They give you a ransom note, a list of demands you must meet for them to return your children to you. In the meantime, your children are placed into a secondary holding facility/location, with hostage-holders who are paid with advanced ransom fees from those in charge of the kidnapping ring. The secondary hostage holding location is run by people who have been told they are watching a child who needs help – and they don’t ask questions.

As the weeks horrifically drag on, you scramble and claw your way to meet the requirements of the ransom, but at each single advancement, they place two or three more new demands to the ransom list. You slowly begin to realize they will ensure at every step possible, that your children will never be with you again. You continue to obey ridiculous ransom requests, desperate for a chance to be reunited with the perfectly imperfect children you have been the perfectly imperfect parent for… even knowing you will probably never see them again, you will do anything for them.

As the months drag on, you realize that your children, traumatized, indoctrinated, and seeking any sense of normalcy, have begun to trust their hostage-holders. Over the phone, you hear them call one of them “mom.” You heart shatters, as you realize the life-long damage and trauma the kidnapping ring has caused your entire family, even if you can ever get your children back.
While in the kidnapping ring’s clutches, your children are drugged into compliance, making the situation even scarier – your children may be forever altered mentally, emotionally, or physically from these drugs. The drug cartel profits from these kidnapped children, and have no problems supporting the kidnapping ring.
Several times, when you are allowed a proof of life phone call, your children begin to tell you they are being abused by their hostage holder in some way, but the phone goes dead or the hostage holder starts talking instead. Your screaming, angry, terrified words to protect your children, with the hostage holders and the original kidnappers, falls on deaf ears again. They are profiting by your children’s kidnapping whether your children are now safe or being abused, and compassion only makes their job more difficult.
You reach out to anyone who will listen, to tell them of what happened, that your child is being abused by their kidnappers and hostage holders, but you find the insanity has spread to most other’s around you, as no one does anything and says nothing can be done. They tell you no criminal action will be taken against the kidnappers, the hostage holders, or the drug cartel.

Months and months go by… you may find your children finally back with you, devastated, war-torn, broken but grateful to be back with you…. or you may be forever stripped away from the children you only ever loved.
Either way, Child “Protective” Services has profited by taking your children, as have the foster workers who housed your children, the drug companies who treated your children’s depression, aggression, and fear from being kidnapped, and the court system who pretends to be “for the people,” so it doesn’t matter to them what you or your children’s end result is.
Even if that is death.

In honor and memory of the thousands and thousands of children who have died in foster “care”

at the hands of their foster “parents” or “siblings,” and their devastated, true FAMILY left behind.

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Changing, Amazing Grace, and Sexual Assault

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Oh, my spider-webbing feminine mind! I am lengthy, always, because of this. I wish I knew how to alter it, but then I always feel like the words and thoughts are lacking. Thank you, if you are willing to bear with me. In my mind, this all links together. 

I originally wrote this during Genital Integrity Awareness Week of 2014 for my old blog, and now that it is Genital Integrity week again, I thought I would share it again on this blog.

When I was pregnant with Leela, not knowing what gender my baby would be, I was a fence-sitter on the issue of circumcision. I remember saying something to a friend on Facebook about “how could it be so bad if God commanded it in the Old Testament?” I also questioned the hygiene of someone intact. Cultural (American) conditioning played a heavy hand in me, whether I wanted to admit it or not (and I didn’t want to admit it – hooray cognitive dissonance).

I asked myself if I could stomach watching a circumcision video (which should have been a big clue for me how I really wasn’t okay with it) and decided that whether I could handle it emotionally or not, I needed to watch what it was like beforehand, if I was even remotely willing to do it to a son I carried for 9 months inside of me and was going to be fiercely protective over, as any mother should be with their children.

It was not a botched circumcision video that I watched. It was “normal.” (I don’t remember the exact video – there are plenty on YouTube, even videos created specifically for drs to learn how to “properly” circumcise. Any I have seen have been absolutely gut-wrenching.Elephant in The Hospital has a brief, “safe” and average – not resulting in death – mutilation video) I couldn’t make it through even half of that video before I burst into tears. I paused it for a long time and sobbed. I made myself finish watching it, but I actually hated myself afterwards (for ever being even mildly willing to do that to a baby or allowing someone else to do it to any of my children).

Thus began a silent and slow research journey until the birth of our second daughter. I knew then that I could not allow any future son’s genitals to be cut. That was the only word I felt was “respectful” to parents who I still believed had a “choice” to do this with no medical reason, and so used it. Cut. {frown}

Being unwilling to call this more than “cut” or “circumcision,” if you stick around, was me still having issues of cognitive dissonance.

Over the last couple of months, within my third longest pregnancy, I have been more tenaciously (as much as I possibly can) researching Scripture and information about circumcision. The more I learn, the more adamant I become against it. There’s no way not to be, for me.

Just as I cannot ignore my heart crying out when children’s genitals are violated through sexual assault, I can no longer ignore it when their genitals and minds are violated for the rest of their lives sexually for “medically preventative” reasons. By “medically preventative,” I mean not currently there, such as amputating breasts when there is a family history of it, even though it is not in the patient (and even then, it’s an adult woman choosing it for herself).

I do mean sexual alterations via circumcision quite seriously. This article was the first one I read, just weeks ago, where I finally understood even a little bit, how circumcision as done today makes sex far less enjoyable for a man than having an intact/full-of-nerves (and natural lubrication) penis: Anatomy of the Penis and Mechanics of Intercourse. Don’t worry, for those of you who are squeemed-out by actual pictures. It’s medical-textbook type drawings.

What seems worse about comparing these two things… is that when a child is sexually assaulted, we at least have understanding and allow them to grieve and mourn through-out their entire lives, off and on, as issues arise from the non-consent of someone messing with their genitals and sexuality.

However, male victims of circumcision are trained and conditioned (even if “unintentionally”) by their parents and American/mutilating society at large to think that what happened to them was necessary (even though there was NO medical emergency/reason at infancy to do this and non-circumcising countries prove there very rarely will be even into elderly adulthood), so they are almost looked down upon if they grieve this assault on their genitals as adults.

There is a reason that genital integrity advocates are so vocal – just as advocates for sexual assault victims became loud and “in-your-face” in the 70’s, 80’s and beyond – they were but a few, screaming against the masses who had whispered to children and women for so very long, that maybe their sexual assault wasn’t so bad, they should feel ashamed to talk about it, it wasn’t appropriate to share, etcetera.

(I know several adult survivors, who as children in the 50’s and 60’s, told a parent about their sexual assault, and were ignored or told they should be ashamed to talk about such things. What the crap??? Praise God for advocates mostly dismantling that garbage.)

Where victims are made to feel as though they should not question what happened to them, I pray there are “crazy,” loud, non-stop people out there, who tirelessly work until victims are allowed freely to speak, without shame, if they need or want to. God help me if I am not one of them.

For me, this issue has become as important as helping secondary survivors of sexual assault. Why should it not be? Both are about adults asserting authority and control over children’s genitals. Both issues are justified in the minds of the people who assaulted (or asked a dr to commit the assault on) the child’s genitals, regardless of what they know to be respectful to any human being’s body.

When I could recognize this – that this all comes down to adults asserting authority over a child’s sexuality/body against their protests or without informed consent – that those are intricately, inseparably linked in both medically unnecessary circumcision and in the sexual assault I advocate against… I could address the cognitive dissonance I had been feeling, deeply, about this issue. I was able to call this a mutilation, an amputation, and a sinful, hateful act against children. Because asserting power over a child’s body, justifying it, in both of these “situations” is evil.

This morning, thinking deeply about a circumcision conversation I had yesterday in which some said that circumcision is not a salvation issue, I was thinking about grace. I opened the Word and the focus became God’s grace given to us. His blood offering extending grace, hope, freedom, and radical change to anyone who wants it. The same grace and love we are to extend to everyone.

Then, after reading this Scripture (all of Galatians 5), I went online to research it a bit more in depth and found an amazing article (What the Bible Really Says About Routine Infant Circumcision), that I want to share bits from later. I had not taken notice before, of the wording in several Scripture verses, of New Testament Followers of Christ’s view on circumcision. I am highlighting things here that I took note of when reading through this article:

“Paul did not believe in freedom to choose; he believed in freedom to obey God. 

~Gal. 5:11 ‘But if I still proclaim circumcision. . . then the stumbling block of the cross has been abolished.’  

First there was circumcision and animal sacrifice; then there was the cross. If you hold on to the former, you render the latter worthless.

~Gal. 5:12 ‘I wish that those who are pushing you to do so would mutilate themselves!’ 

Have you ever heard Paul so intense about anything? Mutilation is his word. And it will come up again.” 

~Phil. 3:2 “Beware of the dogs! Beware of the evil workers! Beware of the mutilation! For WE are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God, and glory in Christ Jesus, and put NO confidence in the flesh!” 

Paul has three things to say about those who would still practice routine circumcision after the ushering in of the New Covenant and the final sacrifice made by Christ. First, he calls them dogs, the lowest of insulting terms in those days. (Dogs were not yet domesticated as household pets and they ran around wild in packs eating garbage and annoying the livestock.) Second, he calls them evil workers. Scripture is clear: maiming an individual, outside of a direct order from God, is evil and morally unacceptable. Third, Paul minces no words; he calls unordained circumcision what it really is – mutilation. This is the second time Paul uses this term. Ironically, those who speak up for children today are often labeled ‘extremists’ for using this same word.”

It was kind of wild to me, because the words used by Paul are harsh – one of them being an exact word I was just “chastised” over using a few weeks ago, by a Believer (the word they said I was mocking God and/or His people with was mutilation)! Had I taken note of it before, I would have promptly shared those verses that use the words I’ve been using already so the person may be less likely to “guide” any other Followers in this area, incorrectly.

This wording, which could be called inflammatory, mocking, and insulting by many, is then followed by how we should be loving one another! Clearly, speaking the Truth of circumcision is not inflammatory, mocking, or insulting, nor is it unloving. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. It is LOVE to speak the truth about circumcision, even if it is needed to be said harshly.

All of this led me to thinking about the movie, Amazing Grace.

William Wilberforce accepted Christ and could no longer stomach the excuses being made about the enslavement of other human beings and acted,  tirelessly. So tireless was he, that he made himself sick, to prevent the atrocities happening to fellow human being’s bodies and spirits.

Many others, even those who called themselves Christians, called him crazy, extreme, disruptive to their British way of life, they certainly called him “against his country” (whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean/hold sway for a Christian who holds a different Citizenship altogether), and even that the belief that slaves should be freed was “dividing the Church.” Frankly, many people who said they were fellow Christians were downright hostile and hateful to his proposal that we treat black people as equal to whites, and no longer take ownership of their bodies and violating their spirits – the ones that Christ freed. (This same garbage “Christian” protection/defense of slavery happened in America, as well.)

It’s clear in watching the “cozy afternoon” ship scene, where William has people of high influence stop in front of a stenching slave ship, that these people are experiencing extreme levels of what therapists/psychologists today call cognitive dissonance. They are horrified, tears in their eyes, close to vomiting, and some of them are shaking. They are all at a breaking point in their belief systems and they must choose to either match their actions to the knowledge/belief that slaves were treated horribly, or they must turn away completely and deny the humanity of the slaves so they could go on living comfortably – living in denial. (Here’s an interesting video on watching cognitive dissonance played out in a “small” way.)

Yet, this is what many would do. Turn away and live in denial, because it’s too uncomfortable to face the truth of slavery.


This led me to thinking of the prophets of the Hebrew Scriptures. They often did extreme things, said extreme things in order to snap God’s people to attention. I mean it, I am pretty sure had I been around them, I would have thought they were insane. Cooking food over feces, ripping clothing and wailing, and “worse.” The people who claimed they were God’s people and loved Him – they called these prophets things like nuts, heathens, and more. Admonishing the prophets who were being commanded by God to shine light on the disturbing things God’s people were doing, using far less disturbing analogies… telling them to be silent, or just a little more “discreet” about what they were doing. This post, linking to direct Scripture about these prophets, is pretty great: The Crazy Prophets of the Old Testament

Yet, even still, when God’s people shout out, sometimes in extreme ways against most certainly more extreme actions/sin, the bulk of the people who call themselves His, say, “It’s too much! Chill out! You are trying to change and destroy a way of life for us that we are used to! That makes us uncomfortable!”

When will we learn?

Whether it is empowering ourselves over black people’s bodies and spirits (or any shade of melanin) for slavery, over women’s and children’s bodies for sexual gratification or dominance, asserting power over a child’s body for medically-non-existent issues while pretending we’re somehow sparing them from an unknown, or any other issue involving someone else’s temple – these are clearly salvation issues.

Christ came to do away with violence and bloodshed by offering us salvation – yet many of those who claim to be His, still want it. And they want the people who can no longer ignore these atrocities to be ashamed of speaking about it, to be more discreet, to never be extreme in response to the more extreme sin of ignoring His salvation and freedom. Our bodies are His – we are to care for them as the Temple, and treat other’s bodies the same way.

For this, my heart has been broken for weeks on end. I can’t ignore the hypocrisy any longer, and I have been desperate in prayer, words, and action, to work against this tide of cultural conditioning within the Church.

I pray I can find more to do, just as I have continued praying about doing more to help sexual assault victims and their families.

Hypocrisy

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Hypocrisy

written: October 14, 2014

Feeling particularly sick to my stomach
About CPS, whoever called them
With rumors, gossip, slander
(And no evidence, because there isn’t any)…
The general atmosphere of the place I live,
Chosen merely by the lottery of birth.

Neighbor against neighbor.
Whispered lies to tear families apart.
Using children as shields in a culture war that says
“It’s better safe than sorry” –
Unless, of course, we are talking about child molesters,
Arsonists, thieves, or murders…
Then it’s “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent suffer.”

It is horrific that “family” makes you an open target,
To anyone and everyone.
And the general public will say,
“Better safe than sorry,” as your loved children
Are stripped from your innocent arms,
While guilty child molesters and murderers are
Given second chances with no double jeopardy.