Tag Archives: Scripture

Of Meat and Men


Sometime a few July’s ago, my cousin asked a really great question that prompted me to write down what I have been thinking about for several years.

Her question was, “How does one view veganism through the lens of christianity? I understand vegetarians/vegans use the original plant based diet of eden as a model, as well as the vision of the lion in the lamb in revelations, then there are scriptures in the new testament deeming all foods clean to eat. Take into consideration the issue of compassion, the meat industry’s mass production/greed and impact on world hunger and waste. I eat meat, but i am wondering if anyone has any insight or opinion on this?”

Take it for what it’s worth (not much, I am a fallen human being), but here are some of my thoughts after reading Scripture.

We are fallen human beings. I see every generation suffering health problems, but in increasing percentages and degree of severity. There’s Scripture that talks about how there’s nothing new under the sun. It also speak to how things will be increasingly worse as time goes on.

I believe it was when I was reading through a book called One Blood, by Ken Ham, several years back (I promise this links together) that things started clicking for me about food keeping our bodies healthy. Anyway, basically, the information goes through how foolish the theory of evolution looks in the light of Scripture when looking at health concerns alone. The theory of evolution proposes that we are constantly evolving to be better physically. Yet, it is very clear that Scripture comes true – that the human body is corrupted from sin, degrading more and more with each generation.

Okay, so here’s what I’ve thought about since reading that thought. Our bodies ARE degrading more than generations before us. Issues such as autism, cancer, heart disease, and more are drastically on the rise.
With our bodies degrading, I see more and more people desperately needing animal fats and protein to sustain them. (Lots of great info at that article!!) It effects muscles atrophying – every muscle, including the brain and heart (which seriously worries me that folks with heart issues are put on fat-restrictive diets. Their hearts need fat to stay healthy and pumping strong!) It keeps our brains active (Alzheimer’s patients recover a great degree with adding in a lot of animal fats).
I see that people can and did survive and thrive off of vegan diets far back in history, but as time has gone by, God clearly loosens up laws and restrictions, step by step. Now, I have not yet met a vegan that lasts more than 13 years in that lifestyle. I am sure they are out there, but I have yet to meet one. Everyone I have met has begun craving meat anywhere from 7-13 years into the diet. I think it’s because veganism and vegetarianism are overall very detoxifying ways of eating. Eventually, the human body needs nourishment – it can’t exist on constant detoxing. Thus, an uncontrollable craving for meat that often results in shame-based eating, rather than joyfully nourishing the body with the animals God allows us to have: http://alexandrajamieson.com/im-not-vegan-anymore/

Our goal is to find/buy humanely-raised, grassfed beef, pork, chicken, and (zoinks) goat and eat only that. It’s a very slow work in progress as Big Ag and the generations before us have made it quite difficult in sourcing these things through their food choices. I know that God tells us we are stewards over the earth and we have dominion over the beasts, but I do not believe for one moment that gives us right or room to pillage, beat, and torment His creation, neither in life nor in their death. I truly believe their lives and deaths can be humane.
I have seen our raw milk farmer’s cows and how well they are cared for. They are well-loved animals, not really a profit-making venture, just loving animals. I see that with pastured chickens, too. They are just truly loved and cared for.
I don’t feel bad or guilty for eating these animals that were cared for and treated with goodness while they were alive and killed in the most humane way the farmer knows to. Not for a moment. I do feel guilty for eating animals that were shoved together without airflow, sunlight, or a way to poop without getting out of it.

I see, through sin degrading our bodies, that we need more food with animal fats and proteins. I think each person requires different amounts than another, so it’s basically learning to listen to your own body and the Holy Spirit’s guiding on when to say no, but I see very few people who can live healthfully on an all-vegetable diet for very long.

After saying all that, I also don’t think that sin effecting our bodies is a “personal sin” issue, but a “general sin” issue. It’s not a baby’s fault if they have birth defects from an alcoholic mother, but they are effected by the sin none the less and may have to work to heal or maintain because of this. We have more chemicals, plastics, birth interference, medications that have no long-term testing and are being shown decades later to harm people, synthetic foods, and other harmful things… our bodies being effected by sin are from ourselves and generations before us. I don’t want anyone to think I am saying that bodies failing us are caused by our own personal sin, but it cannot be denied that often, it is because of collective/cultural/generational sin. (I hope that made sense.)

Oh my gosh, I hope that wasn’t a bore. I’ve had all of this muddling around in my mind for several years now, been meaning to blog it, but never done it. Hope it made sense, too. Sorry it was so long – at this hour, I have no capacity to shorten sentences or thoughts!

A Few of My Favorite Things


I am excited to participate in the July Blogging Challenge, hosted by Jennifer and Lynn, to get the blogging “mojo” flowing. Thank you so much for hosting this, ladies!

I have missed a little bit of the challenge – 10 days in fact! I see a few that I want to catch up on, so I will definitely make sure to blog through them later. 🙂 But, for today, I’m excited to tell you about some of my favorite things.

1) Time in God’s Word. There was a longer period of my life recently, where getting into God’s Word was intermittent and forced. I was broken, hurting, and running from El Roi… Who was waiting for me every step I ran. I wanted to have a genuine heart to be in communion with Him, but each time I would sit and open the Word, my life felt like a lie. While I was pregnant with Stryder, I allowed my more opened emotional state to carry me to the feet of Christ, and have been running TO Him again, since. It is my favorite thing, and I missed it despite choosing to run from it. Right now I am reading through Charles Stanley’s Seeking His Face, plus reading through various Scripture with Melody.
2) Family snuggles. For a long time, this was just Melody and I. Now, it’s a lot more family to snuggle. ❤
3) Books. Bibliophilia is strong within me. ;P
4) Knitting.
5) Bullet Journal.
6) The sound of a well-played violin or saxophone.
7) Planning parties (but *never* having them for myself, SERIOUSLY panicky to have that much attention on me). I may be considered a Pinterest mom when it comes to this… *ahem*
8) Botanical medicine.
9) Nerdy shows: Firefly, LOTR, Doctor Who, etcetera.
10) Last, but not least, Restorative Exercise. My internal organs are no longer falling out between my diastasis recti (it’s healed!), since I started implementing natural movement into my days – I am so excited about becoming a Restorative Exercise specialist! I can’t wait to write more about this favorite thing in the next few weeks!

I limited myself, to spare you, to my top 10 favorite things. I could go on a couple sets more!

What are some of your favorite things? I would love for you to share here!

Fragility Needed Here


Five and a half years ago, after becoming a single mother (and not stating that it was due to learning about the molestation), I wrote about trusting God’s provision when obeying His written Word. I hope it may encourage someone now.

You know, I’ve been thinking upon how utterly difficult this situation is over the last week or so. Not just feeling it, but looking at it as objectively as I can. This would be a situation that I know even many Christians would say is a “gray” area of life.

While this is difficult, I do know that God has all the right answers for this. He is not going to leave me to flounder. I truly see Him as decisive, while showing many creative outlets within that amazing “black and white” stability.

I know that His Word is true. He will not command all older Christian women to teach the younger Christian women to be chaste, filled with grace, to keep at home, to love others with abandon (and by implication, Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic understanding, and logical thinking, all younger Christian women are to follow the teachings), and then not make a way possible to do just that.

God will not make this situation impossible for me to obey Him through. I can still love others, can still be modest and pure, can still be a keeper at home, can still be graceful and kind. If I see no way to do these things, it is not God allowing the world to make it “impossible” for me to obey, but rather, that I have simply not seen the ways to obey.

God has already clearly provided me understanding to see ways to provide for my little family from home. God has brought a little man into our life to watch and minister to (something I am still grappling with is how to minister to his family and put an awareness to his mother about trusting God to provide for wives/mothers through staying at home – God will also provide without this bit of income), a lady in want of home-cooked meals that desires to pay for them, and my natural living supplies business is slowly but very surely taking off (a local natural food co-op has picked up several of my products!). Every wife/mother that decides to trust God and keep at home will have a different looking situation. Not only in their financial need, but also in how God will creatively reveal Himself in how they can contribute to the family income from home.

God has provided through the Body to meet needs outside of what I am making from home. When the last bit of the financial puzzle is put in place (a boarder), I will no longer require the help of my family or Church on a financial level. However, I am thankful for this time as much as it humbles me. I had not yet seen a church or community of Believers actively live out God’s command to care for the widow. And now, I have seen it, felt it.

I had become hopeless that many other Christians would fulfill that command… but I have a deep knowledge that a great number of His people do listen to this very specific command.

(While my husband is yet living, understand that what is going on is grievous and it is as a great loss to myself and Melody. It is as though he has died. We have come upon a sudden and terrible tragedy that took him from us. He made it that I would be a widow, devoid of his presence and provision.)

This situation has required that I have a fragile heart. God requires that I not be strong at all moments, but I allow myself to grieve.

I believe that is why I became so sick a little bit ago. I became physically weak and exhausted, I was in pain, and the realization that my husband was not there to help me was overwhelming.

I cried frequently during that last Thursday I was sick. I had cried only once in front of Melody before that, not allowing myself to cry any other time before her, to be strong for her. But that day, I could not stop crying. I look back and know that God wanted me to grieve. He wanted me to be able to be fragile and breakable before Him, and to allow Melody to see that need sometimes too.

Having a fragile heart is not just about emotions. It’s also about trust. When I said many times before that I have seen God to be “black and white” and the world is gray… when I have said that I see God’s command to keep at home as a true command for all wives/mothers, and that He will provide a way for women to obey that command…. I have to be willing to trust that when times really are tough. Trusting through “impossible” times truly breaks the human heart. It is a struggle to trust and obey. It’s not easy or fun most of the time when things are pressing you in on all sides and your humanity cannot always hear Him clearly.

I desire to have a fragile heart. I do not for a second wish to have a heart in any other state of being.

I desire and pray for your hearts to be willing, to trust and obey, even when times are tough, and it seems like the way is blocked and impossible. God makes a way for you to obey Him, for all to obey Him.

Sexual Assault and Breastfeeding


I once shared this piece on Facebook, a gorgeous painting reprint sent to me by my artist-friend, Kate Hansen.

Krista and Colum, by Kate Hansen

It’s probably my favorite of the series. I couldn’t contain my delight and just had to share her stunning work with others.
In response I was told by a family member,

“I know your stance on breastfeeding, and I respect you & your stance, could you please respect the people in your list that prefer modesty over this outright flaunting of it?”

This really got my brain spinning. I just could not get the immediate comparison out of my mind, between breastfeeding and my experience in the horrific world of sexual abuse survivors.
From this, I wrote a Facebook note. At the time, I was still keeping myself hidden away from blogging, and it made the process that much more intense. The people that do nothing wrong must hide away! Those that brew perversion in their hearts should be shielded, protected, and let loose in their sin issues… it was deeper than the misconstruing family member could ever imagine.

The following is what I wrote, with only minor tweaks here and there.
Big notes in little print: If you want to learn more about how breasts are seen/treated as solely sexual objects in basically only a handful of countries, take the time to watch Busting Out, a very in-depth documentary on America’s unique beliefs.

If you want to learn more about how some Believers take a sane route, read this amazing article by a Christ-following Dad, Breastfeeding In Public: A Christian Father Speaks Up.

Need more thoughts? This is an epically in-depth look at the Scriptures that mention breastfeeding; exegesis and all – Breastfeeding and the Bible

Flaunting the human body for sexuality, according to the Bible, is sinful. Feeding our children in public is not “flaunting” and should not be made an issue of sin on the part of the mother/child – it isn’t in Scripture, and it isn’t “sin” in any other part of the world aside from 2/3rds of North America.

To attempt to make a woman and child feel “dirty” for an act that is not called so in Scripture (it is, in fact, called just the opposite), when we should be calling to righteousness those who are aroused by the sight (which IS called sin in Scripture, to allow lust to grow) is… very strange to me.

It’s bizarre to me that our culture has made many Christians legalists about the issue of our babies being fed. It’s bizarre to me that Believers accept, condone and excuse our cultural up-bringing over God’s clearly written Word . Breastfeeding is NEVER called dirty, shameful, sinful, or any other negative thing in the Word. For a Believer to say it is dirty and an inappropriate public act, when there is NO Scripture that says that, is legalism. (Read Sarah Mae’s thoughts on what it is and is not, to be a legalist: here.)
Actually, Scripture calls nursing women and children into the very fellowship that so often shuns them for “indecent behavior.”

“Gather the people; consecrate the congregation;

assemble the leaders; gather the children,

even infants sucking at the breast;

let the bridegroom leave his room

and the bride the bridal chamber.”

~ Joel 2:16

However, staring at a woman lustfully IS clearly called sin in Scripture… Or, an even more disturbing possibility, looking at a {shudder} child lustfully while they are obtaining nourishment is sin – clearly. Why is it not a bigger issue being addressed, if people are truly concerned that a man/woman could be aroused at the sight which God never says is sinful (breastfeeding), to be getting perverts away from mothers/children? Rather, we believe/say the mothers/children should instead hide away, act ashamed, cover with a tent.
We need to be making perverts leave, not the victims.

Our nation and it’s people often tries to make molestation and rape victims feel shame… “Perhaps what they were wearing was ‘asking for it.'”
If the victim’s or their families speak out about what happened, we try to shame them with how it’s “something private… and how humiliating to share it.”
We do the exact same thing to mothers/children who are merely having a time for nourishment. Perhaps if they just covered up a little more, the perverted wouldn’t have been so tempted. And how dare we talk about breastfeeding in public! We should be ashamed… it is a private thing and it makes others feel “uncomfortable.”
There is nothing in Scripture to support the view that breastfeeding should be done in secret, hiding, or as though it’s sinful in anyway. There is ample Scripture that says any man/woman who is aroused sexually for someone they’re not married to, is in sin. And should be called by other Believers to walk away from that behavior/thought life.

Perhaps I’m so impassioned about this because I DO see the bizarre comparison of making sexual assault victims and/or their families feel guilty/dirty/shamed/silenced (maybe if you just wore/acted/said  something different, the perverted wouldn’t have been aroused by you) and doing the same to breastfeeding families (maybe if you just put a tent over your baby, that pervert wouldn’t be aroused). And since I’m a part of both of those groups, I get to feel that full weight two-fold.

None of this is meant to sound rude.
I’m not going to stop posting about what I post about. So don’t bother asking.
I post what I do because I feel led to by the Father, not to make anyone feel comfortable OR uncomfortable. I don’t cater to human desire for me to quiet what I feel the Lord impressing me to share. I love Him, and I love people too much to be silent when He calls me to speak.

Skewed Ideas of Modesty?


This little gem popped into my Facebook news feed awhile back. It got my mind working a little bit, turned back to a topic I’ve written about before, in more length.

Here’s a thought… because, to today’s standards, this really would be considered a modest (and pretty, I think) outfit.
But… would it be, in Biblical times? I have been thinking how odd it is that we promote modesty with an envisioned, outward goal to attain and pin-point immodesty in others, when many of the commands that Believers use to advocate for modesty… were written at a time when heels didn’t plump a woman’s tush up, tops had long sleeves (that probably got rolled up for hard work!), and a woman’s head was veiled – all for modesty.

I also think it’s ironic that in Scripture, where nursing women and children were called into fellowship with great welcome (“Gather the people. Consecrate the congregation; assemble the elders; gather the children, even nursing infants. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her chamber.” ~Joel 2:16) and nursing in fellowship was never once called immodest – we now whisper about mother’s nursing without a cover even though you can’t see any breast (and even if you could… so what, it’s not a sexual organ… not any more than the ankle in this picture is), or outright confront her for doing what God called her to do- nurse her baby in the fellowship of others.

I wonder now if what we say is this mystical standard of modesty… is quite far from what the sages from Scripture were referring to. I wonder if our American church culture is quite backwards from what Scripture intends.

Not really poking at anyone, but rambling thoughts that have been floating around for awhile.

Changing, Amazing Grace, and Sexual Assault


Oh, my spider-webbing feminine mind! I am lengthy, always, because of this. I wish I knew how to alter it, but then I always feel like the words and thoughts are lacking. Thank you, if you are willing to bear with me. In my mind, this all links together. 

I originally wrote this during Genital Integrity Awareness Week of 2014 for my old blog, and now that it is Genital Integrity week again, I thought I would share it again on this blog.

When I was pregnant with Leela, not knowing what gender my baby would be, I was a fence-sitter on the issue of circumcision. I remember saying something to a friend on Facebook about “how could it be so bad if God commanded it in the Old Testament?” I also questioned the hygiene of someone intact. Cultural (American) conditioning played a heavy hand in me, whether I wanted to admit it or not (and I didn’t want to admit it – hooray cognitive dissonance).

I asked myself if I could stomach watching a circumcision video (which should have been a big clue for me how I really wasn’t okay with it) and decided that whether I could handle it emotionally or not, I needed to watch what it was like beforehand, if I was even remotely willing to do it to a son I carried for 9 months inside of me and was going to be fiercely protective over, as any mother should be with their children.

It was not a botched circumcision video that I watched. It was “normal.” (I don’t remember the exact video – there are plenty on YouTube, even videos created specifically for drs to learn how to “properly” circumcise. Any I have seen have been absolutely gut-wrenching.Elephant in The Hospital has a brief, “safe” and average – not resulting in death – mutilation video) I couldn’t make it through even half of that video before I burst into tears. I paused it for a long time and sobbed. I made myself finish watching it, but I actually hated myself afterwards (for ever being even mildly willing to do that to a baby or allowing someone else to do it to any of my children).

Thus began a silent and slow research journey until the birth of our second daughter. I knew then that I could not allow any future son’s genitals to be cut. That was the only word I felt was “respectful” to parents who I still believed had a “choice” to do this with no medical reason, and so used it. Cut. {frown}

Being unwilling to call this more than “cut” or “circumcision,” if you stick around, was me still having issues of cognitive dissonance.

Over the last couple of months, within my third longest pregnancy, I have been more tenaciously (as much as I possibly can) researching Scripture and information about circumcision. The more I learn, the more adamant I become against it. There’s no way not to be, for me.

Just as I cannot ignore my heart crying out when children’s genitals are violated through sexual assault, I can no longer ignore it when their genitals and minds are violated for the rest of their lives sexually for “medically preventative” reasons. By “medically preventative,” I mean not currently there, such as amputating breasts when there is a family history of it, even though it is not in the patient (and even then, it’s an adult woman choosing it for herself).

I do mean sexual alterations via circumcision quite seriously. This article was the first one I read, just weeks ago, where I finally understood even a little bit, how circumcision as done today makes sex far less enjoyable for a man than having an intact/full-of-nerves (and natural lubrication) penis: Anatomy of the Penis and Mechanics of Intercourse. Don’t worry, for those of you who are squeemed-out by actual pictures. It’s medical-textbook type drawings.

What seems worse about comparing these two things… is that when a child is sexually assaulted, we at least have understanding and allow them to grieve and mourn through-out their entire lives, off and on, as issues arise from the non-consent of someone messing with their genitals and sexuality.

However, male victims of circumcision are trained and conditioned (even if “unintentionally”) by their parents and American/mutilating society at large to think that what happened to them was necessary (even though there was NO medical emergency/reason at infancy to do this and non-circumcising countries prove there very rarely will be even into elderly adulthood), so they are almost looked down upon if they grieve this assault on their genitals as adults.

There is a reason that genital integrity advocates are so vocal – just as advocates for sexual assault victims became loud and “in-your-face” in the 70’s, 80’s and beyond – they were but a few, screaming against the masses who had whispered to children and women for so very long, that maybe their sexual assault wasn’t so bad, they should feel ashamed to talk about it, it wasn’t appropriate to share, etcetera.

(I know several adult survivors, who as children in the 50’s and 60’s, told a parent about their sexual assault, and were ignored or told they should be ashamed to talk about such things. What the crap??? Praise God for advocates mostly dismantling that garbage.)

Where victims are made to feel as though they should not question what happened to them, I pray there are “crazy,” loud, non-stop people out there, who tirelessly work until victims are allowed freely to speak, without shame, if they need or want to. God help me if I am not one of them.

For me, this issue has become as important as helping secondary survivors of sexual assault. Why should it not be? Both are about adults asserting authority and control over children’s genitals. Both issues are justified in the minds of the people who assaulted (or asked a dr to commit the assault on) the child’s genitals, regardless of what they know to be respectful to any human being’s body.

When I could recognize this – that this all comes down to adults asserting authority over a child’s sexuality/body against their protests or without informed consent – that those are intricately, inseparably linked in both medically unnecessary circumcision and in the sexual assault I advocate against… I could address the cognitive dissonance I had been feeling, deeply, about this issue. I was able to call this a mutilation, an amputation, and a sinful, hateful act against children. Because asserting power over a child’s body, justifying it, in both of these “situations” is evil.

This morning, thinking deeply about a circumcision conversation I had yesterday in which some said that circumcision is not a salvation issue, I was thinking about grace. I opened the Word and the focus became God’s grace given to us. His blood offering extending grace, hope, freedom, and radical change to anyone who wants it. The same grace and love we are to extend to everyone.

Then, after reading this Scripture (all of Galatians 5), I went online to research it a bit more in depth and found an amazing article (What the Bible Really Says About Routine Infant Circumcision), that I want to share bits from later. I had not taken notice before, of the wording in several Scripture verses, of New Testament Followers of Christ’s view on circumcision. I am highlighting things here that I took note of when reading through this article:

“Paul did not believe in freedom to choose; he believed in freedom to obey God. 

~Gal. 5:11 ‘But if I still proclaim circumcision. . . then the stumbling block of the cross has been abolished.’  

First there was circumcision and animal sacrifice; then there was the cross. If you hold on to the former, you render the latter worthless.

~Gal. 5:12 ‘I wish that those who are pushing you to do so would mutilate themselves!’ 

Have you ever heard Paul so intense about anything? Mutilation is his word. And it will come up again.” 

~Phil. 3:2 “Beware of the dogs! Beware of the evil workers! Beware of the mutilation! For WE are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God, and glory in Christ Jesus, and put NO confidence in the flesh!” 

Paul has three things to say about those who would still practice routine circumcision after the ushering in of the New Covenant and the final sacrifice made by Christ. First, he calls them dogs, the lowest of insulting terms in those days. (Dogs were not yet domesticated as household pets and they ran around wild in packs eating garbage and annoying the livestock.) Second, he calls them evil workers. Scripture is clear: maiming an individual, outside of a direct order from God, is evil and morally unacceptable. Third, Paul minces no words; he calls unordained circumcision what it really is – mutilation. This is the second time Paul uses this term. Ironically, those who speak up for children today are often labeled ‘extremists’ for using this same word.”

It was kind of wild to me, because the words used by Paul are harsh – one of them being an exact word I was just “chastised” over using a few weeks ago, by a Believer (the word they said I was mocking God and/or His people with was mutilation)! Had I taken note of it before, I would have promptly shared those verses that use the words I’ve been using already so the person may be less likely to “guide” any other Followers in this area, incorrectly.

This wording, which could be called inflammatory, mocking, and insulting by many, is then followed by how we should be loving one another! Clearly, speaking the Truth of circumcision is not inflammatory, mocking, or insulting, nor is it unloving. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. It is LOVE to speak the truth about circumcision, even if it is needed to be said harshly.

All of this led me to thinking about the movie, Amazing Grace.

William Wilberforce accepted Christ and could no longer stomach the excuses being made about the enslavement of other human beings and acted,  tirelessly. So tireless was he, that he made himself sick, to prevent the atrocities happening to fellow human being’s bodies and spirits.

Many others, even those who called themselves Christians, called him crazy, extreme, disruptive to their British way of life, they certainly called him “against his country” (whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean/hold sway for a Christian who holds a different Citizenship altogether), and even that the belief that slaves should be freed was “dividing the Church.” Frankly, many people who said they were fellow Christians were downright hostile and hateful to his proposal that we treat black people as equal to whites, and no longer take ownership of their bodies and violating their spirits – the ones that Christ freed. (This same garbage “Christian” protection/defense of slavery happened in America, as well.)

It’s clear in watching the “cozy afternoon” ship scene, where William has people of high influence stop in front of a stenching slave ship, that these people are experiencing extreme levels of what therapists/psychologists today call cognitive dissonance. They are horrified, tears in their eyes, close to vomiting, and some of them are shaking. They are all at a breaking point in their belief systems and they must choose to either match their actions to the knowledge/belief that slaves were treated horribly, or they must turn away completely and deny the humanity of the slaves so they could go on living comfortably – living in denial. (Here’s an interesting video on watching cognitive dissonance played out in a “small” way.)

Yet, this is what many would do. Turn away and live in denial, because it’s too uncomfortable to face the truth of slavery.

This led me to thinking of the prophets of the Hebrew Scriptures. They often did extreme things, said extreme things in order to snap God’s people to attention. I mean it, I am pretty sure had I been around them, I would have thought they were insane. Cooking food over feces, ripping clothing and wailing, and “worse.” The people who claimed they were God’s people and loved Him – they called these prophets things like nuts, heathens, and more. Admonishing the prophets who were being commanded by God to shine light on the disturbing things God’s people were doing, using far less disturbing analogies… telling them to be silent, or just a little more “discreet” about what they were doing. This post, linking to direct Scripture about these prophets, is pretty great: The Crazy Prophets of the Old Testament

Yet, even still, when God’s people shout out, sometimes in extreme ways against most certainly more extreme actions/sin, the bulk of the people who call themselves His, say, “It’s too much! Chill out! You are trying to change and destroy a way of life for us that we are used to! That makes us uncomfortable!”

When will we learn?

Whether it is empowering ourselves over black people’s bodies and spirits (or any shade of melanin) for slavery, over women’s and children’s bodies for sexual gratification or dominance, asserting power over a child’s body for medically-non-existent issues while pretending we’re somehow sparing them from an unknown, or any other issue involving someone else’s temple – these are clearly salvation issues.

Christ came to do away with violence and bloodshed by offering us salvation – yet many of those who claim to be His, still want it. And they want the people who can no longer ignore these atrocities to be ashamed of speaking about it, to be more discreet, to never be extreme in response to the more extreme sin of ignoring His salvation and freedom. Our bodies are His – we are to care for them as the Temple, and treat other’s bodies the same way.

For this, my heart has been broken for weeks on end. I can’t ignore the hypocrisy any longer, and I have been desperate in prayer, words, and action, to work against this tide of cultural conditioning within the Church.

I pray I can find more to do, just as I have continued praying about doing more to help sexual assault victims and their families.

Men and Family


Anna at Domestic Felicity some time ago, had been writing about Israeli husband’s that are in religious school while their wives work outside of the home to support their studies. Personally, I have seen this happening in America (with religious school and secular college as well), causing many of these wives to become drained, desperate and in some cases, despondent to life.

I want to make a clear note before I go on to tell this tale. People can sin and still love the Lord. It’s a truth that is hard to swallow for my black and white mind. It’s hard to comprehend that God still loves me when I sin. Those that are His battle the same war of sin that everyone else on earth does, but they have a Helper who can and does make them victorious, if we are only willing to allow Him to! It is a truth that haunts us, but yet, sets us free. If we can recognize that we are battling sin as Christians, just as were were before we came to Christ, we can admit our faults and failures, and continually hand them over to God.

I knew a married Christian couple that are some of the sweetest, most loving and peaceful people I have ever met. When someone needed something, they went out of their way to serve others and meet their needs. Many times they actually put their own family in a bind to help another family.

This couple was married for many years before they had any children. The wife traveled to work and only came home on weekends.

They had several houses, one of which they rented out to a small family. The husband renter lost his job, and couldn’t pay rent. So the couple I am speaking of let the other family stay there rent free until the husband found a job. Quite literally the wife was working to support another family!

Then the wife found herself miraculously pregnant. She continued to travel back and forth each week to get to work, before and after the baby was born.

The wife shared with me that she wanted to keep the home, but they simply couldn’t afford for her to come home. That if she stayed at home, her husband couldn’t afford to “serve the Lord” in the same way he had been. She shared that she didn’t want to leave her baby alone with anyone else, even people she trusted, because she knew that God wanted her to be the one to raise her child.

The husband, at a dinner, shared that indeed a wife keeping the home was “more” biblical than other options, but that it didn’t work for everyone. (My first silent question was if God commands it, why would a Christian think to say it’s impossible, but I digress. My second silent question was what the heck does “more biblical” mean????)

Then she became pregnant again. Still having traveling to work. She had become despondent and had truly lost hope to ever come home. She was afraid that if she did come home that she wouldn’t be a good mother.

Meanwhile, the husband worked a very low paying job when he easily qualified to make much more elsewhere. He pastored a lovely church, but it took up so much of his free time to serve those people that he didn’t have time during the week to spend with his family even if his wife and children had been home. And on top of that he was leading a bible study in town, not because he felt called to it, but because no one else wanted to lead it and he didn’t want to leave those people high and dry without a leader. If he left, someone would simply be forced to lead or else find other groups to disperse to. If the group is not strong enough to rise up a new leader and will fall apart, they need to re-evaluate their priorities.

The saddest thing to me is that they think of serving everyone else more than they think of ministering to God’s ordained primary ministry for themselves – their own family!

I’ve said before that I would not tear down godly manhood. And I won’t. In so many ways this is a godly man. But in this area alone he needed aid. He needed to prioritize his life so that his wife may do what God commands her to do, which is what God commands him to do. This is the man submitting himself to God’s commands and loving his wife as Christ loves the church.
The truth is, that is Any-Man America. So many Christian men long to serve God, but put or allow their wives into lives of sin to get what they feel is God’s will…
We often confuse His allowing us freewill as Him ‘leading us’ to do things, simply because He didn’t puppet us into stopping, and tell others (and ourselves), “God just called me to something different than X, Y, Z that can be pointed directly to in Scripture.”
These men must be called by other godly men that are following God’s call in this area of life – to enable their wives to stay at home, even if money is tight and they are lacking luxuries or he has to work 50 hours a week instead of 40. Voddie Baucham or Mark Driscoll are good men to learn from to start if you can’t find anyone locally.
There is nothing in Scripture that says, “To be a (insert missionary, pastor, etc. here), you must learn at a school how to do so. You must spend money to learn what I want you to learn.” In fact, I have met so many missionaries, pastors, teaching Mom’s and Dad’s, ministry leaders, and more, that heard the Lord call them to that particular area of life and did not wait to pay someone to teach them how to do God’s will, but simply… did God’s will.

I have heard many people say that the wife is working to support the husband’s way through college so that he can support her later in life. My father never spent a day in college and he supports my mother in a fantastic way now. College is not a necessity to life. What flawed human logic.

Sadly, these men are jeopardizing their bride, their children, and future generations to follow a dream that might not be entirely what God had for them. I am sure God leads many men to be preachers, missionaries, etcetera, but far, far fewer men are told by the Lord that they MUST go to college and have their wives work to support them. Humans often take what God gives them (be an ambassador of Christ) and twist it into something different (don’t forget to pay someone to help you become an ambassador!).

Since Scripture says that women that are not “keepers at home” (guardians – Titus 2:5) are blaspheming (shaming) God’s Word and that men who do not willingly provide financially for their families are worse than infidels  (1 Timothy 5:8), it’s safe to say that those who want to obey God’s call in their lives… won’t hear God tell husbands to have their wives work out of the home, especially to support their husband’s financially.

The train of thought for me on this has not been to tear these men down. It has simply set a fire under me to lift them up in prayer. Pray that they clearly see God’s Word for themselves as husbands, that they will sacrifice their own wants and desires to instead please the Lord and serve their own brides as Christ does His Church.
Let’s pray for these men (and women who seek to work away from their home and family), that they will rise up and trust the Lord to provide for their families (financially, emotionally, spiritually, etcetera) when they obey Him. That Christian husbands will encourage their wives to be home and find it a beautiful and useful place. That their wives will love them unwaveringly even when times might get tough. And let us pray for these wives to not lose hope even if they have been obeying their husbands instead of the Lord, that they will be renewed in their strength and find that God can and will bring them home if they step out in faith and do what He says.

Let us pray.

Pacifying Myself


For all my life, I had believed, as I was taught by pretty much everyone around me (and I chose to see nothing else), that violence is wrong in every situation, save but military battle.

Over a couple-of-year period of time, I’d become more and more uneasy with it all. I struggled with Bush’s war in Iraq. I struggled, as I believe so many others did and do, that our country was using violence in the name of “peace” and “liberation.” This justified violence seemed to me just to be… violence. Yet I still pushed on, dulling my mind, telling myself that even Jesus supports fighting between nations, as long as it’s for “holy reasons.” I continued to tell myself that our Savior of peace and mercy would surely “turn over the tables” on men like Saddam, Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.

Consistently, I would come back to the nagging feeling that my sweet Jesus never once retaliated against the soldiers that for no other reason than that He was claiming to save people’s souls, beat him, mocked him, and ripped at His flesh. I would always come back to the fact that in the face of being captured in the Gethsemane garden, Jesus healed the severed ear to the wounded soldier – a soldier wounded by a disciple of Jesus, trying to defend Him. And the feeling that while Jesus turned over tables, He never once hurt another person, that just wouldn’t leave me.

Maybe it took me so long to get to the point that I could say, “I want to be a pacifist” because I recognized the violence in my own heart. It felt hypocritical to say in my heart I want one thing when my thought-life can exude so much the opposite. But I can’t aspire for something better until I admit that I want it, am willing to struggle for it, willing to die to myself for it. I could not any longer deceive myself into believing that others can or should die for my own warped sense of “peace.”

God, of course, is responsible for bringing me to this point where I was and am able to say I want to stand for His kind of peace (John 14:27). He used His Word and another good book, Jesus for President, to break my heart and move me to compassion for all of His people.

Right now is a time in my life where I am walking through a valley in my heart. I see so much wickedness within myself and want so desperately to be rid of it. It is a scary feeling to let go of the normal, the routine, the accepted. Even looking towards that which is better, healthier, holier – it’s scary sometimes, just to change. But oh, how I long for that change. How I long to look in God’s eyes at the end of this world and say, “I could be nothing other than what You wanted me to be.”

You, my church, told me it was wrong to kill

… except in war.

You, my teachers, told me it was wrong to kill

… except in war.

You, my father and mother, told me it was wrong to kill

… except in war.

You, my friends, told me it was wrong to kill

… except in war.

You, my government, told me it was wrong to kill

… except in war.


now I know, you were wrong, and now I will tell you, my church, my teachers, my

father and mother, my friends, my government, it is not wrong to kill except in


… It is wrong to kill.

-George Mizo, US army veteran

Joyful Obedience: Sex, School, and PTSD


In my devotion today, it was about how a heart yearning to love the Lord will not make excuses for choices that go against His Word, His commands, but will confess when we’ve been unwilling to show our love through obedience, and seek to follow Him. That obedience and the will to be obedient, is the only path for a Follower of Christ.
I thought of several things I’ve considered doing or have done in my life – public school, sex outside of marriage, but mostly, I thought of struggling with PTSD and choosing unhealthy behavior and mindsets, because it’s the most recent struggle in my life.

It’s easy to make excuses. With Saul, he said in 1 Samuel 15 that he disobeyed God because he was “afraid of the people.” I hear people say they “couldn’t deal” with their own kids all day or a particular kid (I’ve felt it, too, but know it’s a lie from satan and have always called it out as such). That “as long as you love each other…” That I kept getting triggered with PTSD and couldn’t control my emotions.

But, for Followers of Christ, God calls us to not only be obedient, but to CHOOSE to be *joyful* in our obedience.

When He says in Scripture to teach our children of His way night and day in every action we make and activity we do, and we send our children away all day and some of the night, but our home feels peaceful because one or all of us is getting what we want, it’s false peace. It’s a peace that pretenses our way is better than God’s, and justifies our choices with excuses of how tough our children are to deal with, how insufficient we are, etcetera, ignoring that He’s commanded us to be together as a family all day and participate in the acting out of grace, iron sharpening iron, mercy. We ignore that He also says His grace is sufficient for us, that we can do all things that He calls us to do. We ignore that there’s no such thing as religiously neutral – Scripture says you are with Him or against Him, period… which puts public school in the hating-God category, with no wiggle room.

When He says to keep the marriage bed pure, but we protest our love for the person we are having sex with, we forget that our Creator gives us commands because He knows the consequences of doing these things, commanded or not. It hurts people to lie to them, to steal from them, to rob them of full commitment and joyful sex. We ignore that He has a plan and purpose, and that He has our best in mind, even when other’s (and ourselves) don’t, when we or others just have right now in mind.

And, when He says to hold our thoughts captive to Christ, but we allow circumstances to turn us bitter, we ignore that He also says we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us, that we are to put on the full armor of God (and He offers it to us!), and that we are to con

tinually offer up our lives with joyful supplication. We ignore that He offers us a peace that surpasses understanding, joy without measure, and a safe haven in commune with Him. He knows my life, my heart, the things my family has been through – and still, He calls me, if I love Him, to be joyful always, to seek mercy and love, and to not let any bitter root grow in my heart.
It is a high, hard calling, but… if I love Him, if I am so grateful for His offerings TO me, so constantly… why? Why is it so very hard to obey His commands, when He offers us all the help to achieve them? Why did I choose, for so long, to let my PTSD consume so very much of me – who HE created me to be? Paul says somewhere in Romans, I believe, that he does that which he doesn’t want to do, and doesn’t do what he wants so desperately to do. This is a man who I see so often in church circles being talked about so often and so highly, that I sometimes think he is held in our minds as a standard, more than Christ (I know it’s not true, but it feels that way sometimes!). Even he struggled with obedience to the will of God.

Lord, I ask Your forgiveness for my unbelief. Forgive me for ignoring Your Words and commands, and going my own ways. Draw me ever closer to You. I do believe, please help me in my unbelief!!

Fair-Weather Community


I have been so blessed, that despite withdrawing after the criminal trial against my ex-husband, I had several friends and family that pulled close to me, continued to invest in me.

As I’ve been healing through PTSD, I’ve been starkly reminded of how many friends and family didn’t stick it out with me, though. Of the people who looked into my life when I was at my most vulnerable but didn’t add much to my support system, who cheered me on when I was already cheerful, and vanished when my heart’s resolve melted away and I became bitter, broken, and disillusioned about the world around me.

Just a month or so ago, I can remember being ready to just say, “whatever, done. If they couldn’t comfort me when I’m at my worst and desperately needed love, comfort, and patience, and only come back around when I’m coming out of PTSD, feeling healthier… screw it.”

A few days ago, I read an article about what makes drug addicts, well, addicted.

“This gives us an insight that goes much deeper than the need to understand addicts. Professor Peter Cohen argues that human beings have a deep need to bond and form connections. It’s how we get our satisfaction. If we can’t connect with each other, we will connect with anything we can find — the whirr of a roulette wheel or the prick of a syringe. He says we should stop talking about ‘addiction’ altogether, and instead call it ‘bonding.’ A heroin addict has bonded with heroin because she couldn’t bond as fully with anything else.

So the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection.”

The results from the studies referenced in the article did not surprise me, but I did take it to heart and decided I wanted to be the kind of person, as I used to be, that ministered to addicts, not shy away from them because they trigger my PTSD symptoms.  I am praying about how to do that, however… as previously, I equated loving someone to letting them doormat, abuse, violate, and threaten you – and that is NOT true. Even in God’s economy, we are to protect one another, and I have children who need to be protected from willful evil intent. I have to find a healthy, God-centered balance.

I know it wasn’t an exact comparison, but it hit a little chink in my armor today, as I heard a man tell me he wished someone could forcibly stop drug addicts from having children. I realized that my thoughts, my decision about my fair-weather friends and family members, makes me a fair-weather friend or family member, too.
It makes me compassion-less. It elevates me above another human being who wasn’t strong enough to help me when I was at my lowest low… and I want to be strong enough, loving enough, to be there for them whether they are at their highest moment or the bleakest point in their life… I want to stand alongside them and offer them human connection and God’s love for them pouring out of me – even if they didn’t for me.

Even when I offer Christ nothing, when I am worthless and broken and traumatized, He still loves on me. He still waits for me. He still leaves me moments of beauty to see, even if He knows I will put on crap-colored lenses and ignore that beauty-filled moment. And, I really want to be the kind of woman who chooses to extend that to others, again.