Tag Archives: CPS

The Kidnappers At Your Door


doorknockYour day is average. You wake up, get dressed, have some quiet time. You then wake up the children, have breakfast, get ready for the day.
Maybe you homeschool, maybe you send them off to public school – but you get on with your day.

Later, you hear a knock at your door. You or one of your children innocently opens the door, ready with a smile and a “hello?”

There are two people before you, dressed nicely, with slight smiles across their lips. They look friendly enough.
They begin to tell you who they are, and as they speak, you realize that they wield a power over you and your children that no one should be able to. They tell you that they are paid by others to take children from families – that your family is under their watchful eye and they will take your children from you at a moments notice, if they see any opportunity arise for them to do so. They tell you they have helpers who whisper things about your family to them, making sure you are aware that anyone in your sphere of friends, family, or neighbors could be a willing pawn in a sick kidnapping ring. They leave, giving you no closure, no awareness of an end. Only the grim reality that you should trust no one, even when you are being trustworthy… because you never know for sure who it is that could turn on your family and help your children be stolen.

As days and weeks drag by, you worry about letting your children play outside – what if that choice makes the people at your door desirous to take your children?. You worry about having them playing inside and they make loud noises – what if that makes the people at your door desirous to take your children? You worry about if they fall from their bike and get hurt… should you stay home and deal with it or take them to a doctor?… either choice can leave your family vulnerable to the eyes and minds of the kidnappers at your door.

Finally, a random detail of your life, one normal and regular to the people in your community, results in the people at your door, breaking into your home in the middle of the night and dragging your crying, screaming, terrified children into their vehicles, while you are crying, begging and pleading for your children’s lives to remain healthy and intact with you. They tell you that someone higher up demanded that this happen now. Your screams, and those of your children, fall on greedy, deaf, uncaring ears.

They give you a ransom note, a list of demands you must meet for them to return your children to you. In the meantime, your children are placed into a secondary holding facility/location, with hostage-holders who are paid with advanced ransom fees from those in charge of the kidnapping ring. The secondary hostage holding location is run by people who have been told they are watching a child who needs help – and they don’t ask questions.

As the weeks horrifically drag on, you scramble and claw your way to meet the requirements of the ransom, but at each single advancement, they place two or three more new demands to the ransom list. You slowly begin to realize they will ensure at every step possible, that your children will never be with you again. You continue to obey ridiculous ransom requests, desperate for a chance to be reunited with the perfectly imperfect children you have been the perfectly imperfect parent for… even knowing you will probably never see them again, you will do anything for them.

As the months drag on, you realize that your children, traumatized, indoctrinated, and seeking any sense of normalcy, have begun to trust their hostage-holders. Over the phone, you hear them call one of them “mom.” You heart shatters, as you realize the life-long damage and trauma the kidnapping ring has caused your entire family, even if you can ever get your children back.
While in the kidnapping ring’s clutches, your children are drugged into compliance, making the situation even scarier – your children may be forever altered mentally, emotionally, or physically from these drugs. The drug cartel profits from these kidnapped children, and have no problems supporting the kidnapping ring.
Several times, when you are allowed a proof of life phone call, your children begin to tell you they are being abused by their hostage holder in some way, but the phone goes dead or the hostage holder starts talking instead. Your screaming, angry, terrified words to protect your children, with the hostage holders and the original kidnappers, falls on deaf ears again. They are profiting by your children’s kidnapping whether your children are now safe or being abused, and compassion only makes their job more difficult.
You reach out to anyone who will listen, to tell them of what happened, that your child is being abused by their kidnappers and hostage holders, but you find the insanity has spread to most other’s around you, as no one does anything and says nothing can be done. They tell you no criminal action will be taken against the kidnappers, the hostage holders, or the drug cartel.

Months and months go by… you may find your children finally back with you, devastated, war-torn, broken but grateful to be back with you…. or you may be forever stripped away from the children you only ever loved.
Either way, Child “Protective” Services has profited by taking your children, as have the foster workers who housed your children, the drug companies who treated your children’s depression, aggression, and fear from being kidnapped, and the court system who pretends to be “for the people,” so it doesn’t matter to them what you or your children’s end result is.
Even if that is death.

In honor and memory of the thousands and thousands of children who have died in foster “care”

at the hands of their foster “parents” or “siblings,” and their devastated, true FAMILY left behind.

Postpartum Scare, Part 2


I need to preemptively state that I am tired of living in the shadows, staying silent so that people who have harmed my family in some way, don’t have to be held accountable for their actions, or have others know about what they’ve done.

In my post, Midwife Review, I mentioned that this midwife told me that if I continued sharing the information of what happened, she would contact her attorney. I won’t be fear-mongered into silence.

It is the stories of CPS (and many, many more than could sanely fit into that one post) that I shared in my last postpartum post that made me resist my midwife’s “recommendation” to take our 5 day old girl into the pediatrician, when she had a dime- to nickel-size drop of blood in her diaper.

That first morning, we woke up, we changed her diaper and she had a small amount of blood in her diaper and a little on her vagina. I was concerned, but not worried, so I took a picture and sent it to our midwife. I called her and asked if she’d seen anything like it before. She asked if she could share the picture with a small group of “18 Christian midwives” that she knows personally, to seek their thoughts. I told her yes. About an hour later, she called back and read off about 7 responses from them, all of them freaking out that the baby had been sexually abused, with two midwives also suggesting that it could possibly be precocious puberty (beginning puberty before the age of 9). None of them were sure of what was going on, as all of them said they’d never seen bleeding like that from a 5-day old female before. Our midwife only saw one picture, slightly blurred because it was early in the morning and I couldn’t get a better shot, that willingly sent her because I was curious as to what it was. I was not worried or filled with fear. She never once asked to come see Leela in person, herself (I was 5 days postpartum, so it wasn’t a registered thought from me, though I wish it had been).

This is where the fact that my oldest daughter had been molested by my ex-husband, was a huge emotional trigger for me. I felt no red flags that my youngest (a decade between my two children) was being abused. And yet, when the midwife read to me the comments that the midwives suspected abuse, I sobbed. Sobbed just as I had when Melody told me about being molested.

It was a very strange moment, because my knowledge and feelings on what was happening at the two different times of crying were very different. Someday, I may share with you my experience after Melody told me she had been molested. Today is not that day. It was hearing those words from the midwives that put me exactly back into the moment I wept in my car while I told my Dad that Melody had been molested, the night I learned about it myself.

All of this made me very resistant to putting any family members through the hell that comes with that very suggestion, who I knew were innocent (since Leela hadn’t been assaulted!). You can’t take back the accusation or the effect it leaves on the accused-innocent.

After sobbing and being held by my husband for a good 30 minutes, I got to researching quickly. I only had to type in one google search, “newborn 5 day old vaginal bleeding.” It was immediately apparent that it wasn’t uncommon for actual blood to come as a hormonal flush for girls (my first daughter had white fluid streaked with blood, so it looked pink, not like actual blood as it did with Leela). 

I sent the midwife legitimate medical websites that said this. I was calm and at peace.

This was my actual response to her, with after-notes for clarification in the {parentheses}:

Okay, I am calling around to set up a newborn exam for “Leela.” No luck finding a pediatrician, yet, that is taking new patients and that is open to no-vax. 

I am still going to be very diligent to get her examined, and take seriously the bleeding if I see it continue for more than a few days – and the thoughts you shared with me from fellow midwives. You know me well enough now to know 1) I study everything for myself as much as I can and 2) I am not hesitant to take action when I think a child is being harmed. 

With that said, after I got off the phone with you, I started looking online and in my books for what could be going on. After even a quick glance over {I did more than a glance-over}, it appears a good number of (clearly, not all) little girls around this day-age have what looks like a little mini period, with a day or two of actually bright blood (I’ll reference some of the web articles I found). Already there is a diminished amount {most of the day had gone by, by the time I could type up/send the email}, basically a drop or two in her diaper. Her nipples are also irritated and looking chapped. Yesterday they were looking like they had pus on them too, but nothing wiped off. None of that today, just the chapped/irritated thing. I knew not to be worried about it {the nipples} as it is probably hormones flushing out. 

Her vulva is red, but not actually swollen today. It was swollen the first few days {of her life}, but not yesterday or today {the day we saw the blood spot and shared a picture with the midwife}. Even looking at the picture again, it’s not swollen.




After reading what I have, I am scheduling a normal newborn exam for her {standard scheduling is when baby is 2 weeks old}, rather than rushing her in anywhere. It sounds very normal after what I’ve read (I also called several people and asked them what they experienced with their little girls as newborns, none seemed alarmed with what I shared {what I didn’t mention was that they were more well-known  that I know online, who also have daughters}). If there is abuse, it will still be very apparent in an infant, even a week from now. While I am not going to ignore it, I am also quite cautious to assume it’s something more serious than what is more than likely a normal mini period for a female newborn. I will absolutely make sure to ask the physician at the exam to check her all over, including a vaginal check because of the blood issue.”

So… I told her that I would be taking Leela to a normal newborn appointment (we had never planned on taking her to a “well-child” visit. I can, and do, check that stuff at home. The link on the well-child visit is well worth reading, by the way) after she was two weeks old. On an odd side note, it was our midwife who advised us to keep newborns away from others, at home for two weeks as she built up an immune system, so they wouldn’t get sick. Thinking of taking her for no proven reason, into the germ infestation at a pediatricians office seemed completely counter to what we’d learned about up to that point.

If Leela had been assaulted at 5 days old, to a point at which she was bleeding, her insides would be wrecked, the bleeding would be more intense and go on for more than a few days, and the signs of it would be evidenced by a doctor for weeks to come, even months. She would be crying inconsolably (even at a year old, our girl only cried when needing a change, or wanted to be held), her vagina would be red, swollen and beat up. None of those other signs were present.

I mentioned that if she had been molested, I was absolutely willing to turn in whoever had done it; the midwife and I had been personal friends and she knew I had turned in my own husband (who was my ex- by the time all of this happened) for child molestation before.

I was hoping that the midwife did her own frantic research (She did. In fact, in the same email that she told me not to share this story or she would contact her lawyer, she confirmed for me that she had “poured through her books” and even asked a second group of local midwives – that I had not given her permission to speak with – what the blood could be… ironically, it was this second group that stated more frequently to wait it out, it was probably just hormonal) before she sent me a response email late that night, saying basically to “please rethink taking her to the dr.” She then called the next morning, just before 8am, and said if we didn’t take her to the pediatrician, she was calling CPS and telling them she was being molested.

When Daryl asked her what her medical sources/citations were for accusing us of this, her response was not even related to the extremely serious accusation she was threatening to make. It was, “Your wife has refused several of my medical referrals, not doing what I requested of her. Not that it bothers me.” Not sure why she brought it up, if it didn’t bother her, or why she avoided answering his question (other than that she didn’t have a good answer). Clearly, she was bothered that I educated myself and decided against doing the things she requested of me. 

Over 2 years later, all I can think of for her “medical referrals” were for my endocrine disorders which I’ve been successfully self-treating for half a decade (it’s how I was able to conceive and carry Leela to begin with. Thank you brain, ThyroGold, Seriphos, and a handful of necessary nutrient supplements!), and to have a ultrasound when my water broke but labor stalled out… so that we could test baby’s weight and amniotic fluid – neither of which is accurately measured by ultrasound.

Nevertheless, the god-complex of expecting me to do everything she said, without educating myself, left an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Even God doesn’t expect me to be mindlessly obedient.

We took Leela in to the pediatrician, now panicked for no legitimate reason, and he was absolutely shocked that our midwife was so ignorant of the issue, that even based just on the picture I sent her (which he saw), that anyone with any amount of education about newborns, would assume either abuse OR precocious puberty. His words literally were, “woah, two big swings and misses,” then he chuckled. Then I told him she was threatening to call CPS, and I needed something from him to prove she wasn’t being sexually assaulted. He said, “She what? ……. Okay, I’ll write you a note for her. Please have her contact me to let me know what she decides to do about this.”

I called the midwife after the appointment and let her know the doctors reaction, his evaluation, etc. I was exhausted. I had no energy to tell her what a craptastic human being she had been to my family. I just sank into our couch and let numbness wave over me for a little bit.

Daryl talked with her after I gave her the recap. He was livid, but expressed himself in a controlled manner. He asked her if she read the information I sent her in the email, about a hormonal flush. She flat out said no. He asked her for her medical sources that led her to accuse us of abuse based on one picture and an admitted lack of knowledge on the entire thing. She said she didn’t have any.

She then changed her story and told us that she wasn’t calling CPS to report proven abuse, but that she “suspected” abuse.

So, let’s put this all into focus. Unwilling to study the information her clients sent her, unable to find any proof or information to give foundation to her fear/worries, and too “busy” to even consider coming to her clients home 
(or, I can give a bit of understanding… perhaps the thought of actually seeing her client in such a “serious situation” never registered in her mind, either… but golly, you would think it would/should have for a “professional” willing to toss this horror story around), this midwife was willing to accuse a family of molestation with literally no medical basis for the accusation, even when realistic, medically-based options were presented to her that it was not molestation.

Her email to the pediatrician was just as sad and pathetic, with her wagging her finger at me to him, about declining her medical referrals… as though he cares what I did, and safely, during my pregnancy. {sigh}

My upset doesn’t come at all with someone willing to report abuse, or that she was willing to with us
In fact, when anyone knows without a shadow of doubt that a child is being molested, they have a love-duty, commanded by God, to protect those children.

No, my upset came because she was basing an accusation on an unwillingness to study, not having any real medical evidence/proof for the accusation, not seeing the client in person, and yet insisting to call CPS with that accusation.

I can barely express the sick, nervous feeling I get when I know a friend is still seeing her for midwifery care. It has actually sent me into panic attacks more than once. I only hope and pray they don’t have anything happen with her as I did, but because of her god-complex, I am concerned that it will.

In the end, we had a more comforting experience with the pediatrician. I no longer speak to that midwife; She was immediately blocked on Facebook, because I was afraid if she ever saw a scraped knee from a bike accident, a bruise on the head from slipping off a couch, or a rash in any pictures, she would jump to abuse again.

This was the postpartum scare, but even after it was over, I was left reeling from what had happened. I felt violated and manipulated. Many times during the following postpartum weeks made me look back on it and feel eerily similar to my experience as a secondary victim – whether anyone can understand that or not, doesn’t matter to me, it’s just how I felt for a long time, and I can still make connections there.

I felt disillusioned by midwifery as a whole, and questioned if I even wanted to be a midwife myself. I actually grew depressed and angry when I thought about being a midwife for some time. I remember weeping many times just thinking about midwives or being a midwife. It took me months and months to sort through everything to get to the point where I could hold to the calling God has for me, without feeling jaded about it. That is a post for another time.

If you have any red flags about your midwife or doula (or anyone, for that matter) – listen to your instinct. That doesn’t mean you need to treat the person terribly, but be cautious, and for goodness sake, don’t feel badly if you swap home birth care providers. Just go your separate ways and be joyful.

Postpartum Scare, Part 1


Let me begin all of this with  the understanding that I am a secondary survivor. I talk about these things with the permission of my daughter, who is the strongest survivor I have ever met.
When our Leela postpartum story is shared, I am sure there are some people who have thought to themselves, “Why didn’t you just do what your midwife wanted from the beginning?” They innocently believe that if you have done nothing wrong, there’s no reason to hide. Here are some reasons behind my motivations to resist.

I am the one that reported family members who were molesting a minor, when I was presented with actual evidence that it happened. I personally have seen and experienced the hell that everyone is put through when an official accusation has been made. Whether the accused is guilty or innocent (and in our case, they both were guilty, one of the assailants even had evidence pulled from their home), their life is forever changed, the surrounding public never holds them with the same view.

If family member(s) were sexually abused, they have lived a whole life of hell already, but the legal aspect is just another added kind of hell and torment for the victim/survivor. It forces them to confront what happened to them on a timed basis that is not their own, before people they may feel are hostile towards them, and may see nothing come about for their openness.

The secondary victims/survivors will desperately try to sift through the confusion and heartache in the aftermath of learning what happened to their loved one(s), while also being the stable support system for the assaulted loved one in the midst of potential questioning, legal action, and all of the ramifications that come with having that terrible secret released (which it needs to be).

It is not something I chose to do without evidence or did in a hasty, thoughtless manner. If all I had was suspicion, I would not report and destroy a possibly innocent person’s life (though, I would keep a cautious eye upon them, as much as I humanly could).
Earlier, I posted up about wanting safe, healthy transparency for clients and midwives, through a review site for midwives, thoughts that have grown and formed from partly previous life experience and partly in how my midwife wanted my voice silenced on an issue that took place when Leela was not even a week earth-bound. Part of my previous life experience was a vast amount of true stories about families and social services, stories I had read about long before I even knew Daryl, much less been holding Leela in my womb.

Families Torn Apart Illegally? article

It was something that markedly shaped my willingness (or unwillingness) to do what my midwife wanted. I read stories of innocent families being harassed and having children take away by CPS on a regular basis, when they take a child in for an injury that happened on a bicycle or some other innocent injury, or were trying to get a child a bit of medical help and CPS turned on them illegally, or…. many things. Issues in the good ol’ USA, like these:

  • Maryanne Godboldo ~ developmentally delayed child taken into state custody (the “safe” foster system where she was molested and abused), because her mother wouldn’t put her on a heavy psychiatric drug that doctors said her daughter did not need. Let’s not even get into the fact that the CPS worker had a CAGE to put the daughter in.
  • Jodi Ferris – daughter held hostage because mother had home birth and questioned the use of Hep B shot.
  • Twins taken for one bump on the head – 5 doctors confirmed no abuse, police confirmed no abuse, CPS still charged forward
  • Russian couple has baby stolen for a week – CPS takes baby because parents refused eye drops and vitamin K shot, even though there is ample evidence that the shot is detrimental
  • William’s Family – ER visit for accident leads to CPS inquisition…  feel like taking your kid in for a normal accident? {shudder}
  • I also get to read from HSLDA, many cases where state officials were sent to a home and children were taken for a time simply because the parents teach their own children diligently at home.

All of this was built up in me long before my scare with a midwife who self-describes herself as “only working with normal.” This all comes before the blood. The dime- to nickel-size spot of blood that led to me questioning for some time, everything about midwifery, trust, and medical care in birth.




written: October 14, 2014

Feeling particularly sick to my stomach
About CPS, whoever called them
With rumors, gossip, slander
(And no evidence, because there isn’t any)…
The general atmosphere of the place I live,
Chosen merely by the lottery of birth.

Neighbor against neighbor.
Whispered lies to tear families apart.
Using children as shields in a culture war that says
“It’s better safe than sorry” –
Unless, of course, we are talking about child molesters,
Arsonists, thieves, or murders…
Then it’s “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent suffer.”

It is horrific that “family” makes you an open target,
To anyone and everyone.
And the general public will say,
“Better safe than sorry,” as your loved children
Are stripped from your innocent arms,
While guilty child molesters and murderers are
Given second chances with no double jeopardy.

It all began September 8…


No, that’s not true, really, when I stop to think about it.

It began before that. It began the moment Daryl told me he treasured our friendship, that he wanted me as his friend for life, and that he loved me. When I felt loved by the best man in the world. That’s when this began.

Several members of his family being paranoid about lifestyle choices most Americans don’t make (but plenty of healthy people do, around the world). Hating me. Being closed-minded, unwilling to learn anything more than their own viewpoint. Not asking me questions (though, sometimes they’d ask Daryl. Mostly, they would just “voice their concerns,” not asking why we do what we do, because really.. they didn’t care why, they just wanted us to know they “didn’t feel comfortable with” our decisions as parents) when they are concerned about something they think I believe or do.

But it got scary serious on September 8 – when two CPS officers came to our door.

I did the thing that all good lawyers recommend their client do when dealing with CPS. Don’t let them in the house, don’t let your children out of the house, and don’t let your children talk with them – all things that many innocent and gullible people believe you should do if you’re innocent. (Wrong. Just ask the Pellitiers, the Godboldos, the Lethbridges, or any number of parents and children victimized by CPS.)

Apparently, someone called in a complaint that we were “dentally neglecting” only one of our children (the information CPS gave us for “this child” wasn’t even accurate and was easily proven false), by refusing to take them to see a dentist when they have dental decay.

First, wait up: we don’t have a child that fits that description – we don’t even have a child that could even accidentally be thought to look like the description – this is a bogus call. You can leave now.

Second,  none of my three children have dental decay – really, you can leave. My oldest is terrified right now and it is you, CPS, coming on a deceptive call, that is disturbing her.

Third, had the gossiper who felt the need to be my children’s parent(s) bothered to ask me or my husband… the genuine parents, they would have found that the one time Melody did have dental decay, a dentist took a look at it and told me to let it fall out, as it was “just a baby tooth.” I went above and beyond the dentist’s recommendation, and worked to heal the cavitySeriously, don’t waste your time coming back, waste tax payer money over gossiped false claims of neglect based on assumptions, and waste my daughter’s heart who is now terrified that CPS is going to kidnap her and strip her away from the parents who love her and have done everything to protect, heal, and guard her in every area of her life.

Important article, click picture to read Legal Medical Kidnapping

What. the. crap. This a waste of tax payer dollars and the CPS’s “valuable” time. There are families with actual physical assault, sexual abuse, and nutritional neglect (like the Standard American Diet my in-laws hopped my daughter up on while she was with them, filled with soda every day, and fast food that she was told “don’t tell your parents about this”) going on within them to actually help.

But, no. It doesn’t matter that the information that they were given – all of it – is wrong. They still really want to question our oldest daughter, “just to make sure.” Make sure, that even though I just gave you the dentist’s name (don’t give even that – I regret it!), that she can verify… what, exactly? Oh, that’s right… they want to ask questions unrelated to dental neglect.

They promised that they would let us sit in on their questions with Melody, but I already know that is a deception. They will – at first – but then once any little thing is said, taken out of context for their own purposes and sense of heightened fear in every single situation they encounter, they will demand to talk with her alone.

We know this was one of Daryl’s family, as mid-August, Melody spent a week with Daryl’s dad and stepmom. One night, Melody pulled out her miswak toothbrush and homemade remineralizing toothpaste, and the stepmom made a funny deal about it… they proceeded to buy Melody a “real” toothbrush (because only America makes real toothbrushes…. plastic crap is  better than anything God made, right?), crap-filled toothpaste, and alcoholic mouthwash. Melody said that the next day, Daryl’s stepmom started questioning her, an 11 year old, by asking, “So why doesn’t your mom take you to the dentist?” (cute, right? Not, “Does your mom take you to the dentist?” but a leading question for a 11 year old who doesn’t realize what is being done to her).
Daryl’s stepmom should be asking philosophical questions of a person’s beliefs from… you know, the person she wants to know about, rather than tricking an 11 year old into gossiping. (This slander/gossip, was later ignored by the entire family, and we’re still “needing to apologize” for proving this woman’s lying, gossiping, division with everyone in the family, and endangerment of our children – there was not any attempt to protect our children, by them, in this. It’s all deflected and projected onto the parents who are desperate to protect their children.)

Melody came home, and a few days later, a relative who is constantly blessing us with gifts, sent us a big supply of Tom’s of Maine toothpaste and bamboo toothbrushes. She works hard to bless us with natural/organic things when she gifts us.

She and her husband also forced Daryl and his grandmother into getting flu vaccines injected into their bodies one year, when neither of them wanted it… which is why Daryl suspected it could also be this relative, trying to force medical decisions on his family, again… despite that it’s not in her standard pattern of behavior. (And this is why CPS allowing “anonymous” callers is evil and horrible – all it does is divide people and terrorize entire families because 1 person was too much of a coward to put their name beside “standing up for a child.”)

I laughed to Daryl, as I told him it was obvious his stepmom or dad had called this other relative and gossiped about the “dental issue” they thought was going on from stepmom’s conversation with Melody… the one she deliberately didn’t ask me about, or my husband, to confirm anything.

No one else had spoken to us of dental issues but his family. We didn’t think much of that crap happening when it did, because it seemed so ridiculous that a 60-some-odd-year-old woman deliberately talked about me behind my back, would not check any information that she was spreading around, and had the gall to tell me in previous years, after other members of his family verbally attacked us, that she “didn’t want to get in the middle of anything.” (Just around the time she was showing my private facebook messages to another in-law to rile them up and cause division between us… right, staying right out of it. {sarcasm}) 

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates friends.” ~ Proverbs 16:28

I didn’t mention her bizarre questioning of my daughter to anyone else. I didn’t mention the toothbrush issue. It was only anyone in his family who had unfounded fears about this. And who knew our address to give to CPS.

Early on the Sept. 11, I wrote:

Oh my gosh. I am so sick of feeling like Habbakuk.

I had blood drawn today for my health issues, and all I could think of on the drive back home was praying that CPS wouldn’t show up today, because I refuse to divulge my medical decisions to them, let a scumbag family member dictate to me how to raise my kids when they don’t bother researching *anything* from a different perspective than their own, and yet, I don’t want CPS thinking I am a junkie.

I don’t want the girls yelling in the house, not because it’s annoying or wakes Stryder, but because I am worried that CPS may stop by and wrongfully think that a child is being abused in my home.

I am worried that Leela or Melody may get a black and blue or a scrape from a fall before the case is closed, and someone at CPS will think they’re being abused, instead of remembering all the bruises we got from playing, when we were kids.

I’m sick to my stomach thinking of them trying to question Melody, and if they do, they will go over all their standard questions… and I know it will come up about sexual assault, and basically forcing her to process through something she is currently in therapy for, to process through slowly and gently.

Whoever was willing to put our family through this because they are an ignorant bigot who believes differently than us in what healthcare means, is so vile to me right now. This was not about concern for the welfare of a child… if it was, they would have called well over 6 months ago, before Melody’s tooth fell out (which was HEALING and a dentist told us to let fall out)…. not months after the fact. Even then, we WERE caring for her tooth. Even if we hadn’t done anything but let a baby tooth with a cavity fall out, without using the Cure Tooth Decay Protocol, that’s not freaking neglect.

Apparently, going in *after* a Standard American Diet and chemical-filled hygiene products makes someone sick and then giving all responsibility for healthcare to a virtual stranger with a stamped piece of paper is much smarter than, you know… being responsible for and maintaining your own health to begin with and rarely needing to see drs.

I am not going to call DCF on families who chose what I see is extremely unhealthy, because I’m not a total douche who thinks they can or should puppet others into doing what I think is best. It makes me so pissed off right now, that there are d-bags out there that do this to their own “family” or “friends.”

This isn’t a new topic to me. I’m not suddenly passionate about it because I am going through it. I have been passionately against this unchecked CPS system, and the abuses that happen because of “anonymous callers” and CPS workers with god-complex, for years.

When I have heard others tell me they’ve reported someone to CPS, I cringe, and I keep guard around them… because I know that they more than likely coward behind the anonymous call, rather than stand up behind their allegation proudly, in defense of a child (if they actually have proof it’s going on, which most do not).

Melody and I had both started therapy, dealing with issues from the criminal trial against my ex. Both of us have a difficult time trusting people, after the trust was shattered by him.

Melody has been so heartbroken that someone manipulated her by asking these questions instead of coming to me to ask them, and someone used what she said to call an agency that has the ability to strip our family apart. This beautiful girl, who normally has 1-2 nightmares a year, had 5 in the “30 business days” that our CPS “case” was open. All containing either her and the littles being kidnapped or being murdered in someone else’s house. She is now afraid to play outside again. She has told me that she doesn’t want to trust anyone again – that just when she thought she could trust her step-grandmother, she was tricked by her.

My hair had been falling out in small, yet noticeable clumps before this, but had started healing. Once this CPS thing happened, the clumps became much bigger, and I have whole sections of hair that are now shock white. I was terrified for months to let my children squeal in our house, rough-house, or play outside together.

My husband no longer wants to share any of our personal life with his family – the family we’ve both wanted to be close with, have our children connect with, and get to know… but so many steps of the way, they have gossipped and avoided actually getting to know us (again, we’ve often heard “concerns” but not many attempts to research why we believe what we believe, i.e. getting to know who we are), and dismissed his beliefs and choices as a parent simply because it’s different, without researching the why behind any different perspectives.

Someone who calls themselves our “family” did this to us.

This had made me so disgusted and angry with the caller – they were willing to rob their other family members of interaction with us. They are willing to divide family members. 
By calling CPS, they were willing to have our children taken from the entire family – there’s no sure thing that if children are taken from their parents, that they will be placed with relatives, in fact, it’s statistically unlikely.

They were willing to put my oldest daughter, who has been molested as a young child (and is now safe from that), into a situation where she could be forced into talking about her assaults. They were willing to risk the chance that my children could be corralled into foster homes that have a higher incidence of rape, molestation, physical abuse, and murder, than in most of the homes they were taken from to begin with.

They were willing to breed lies, gossip, and distrust in the rest of their family.

I was angry that they were willing to put my children, whom we dearly love, through a hellish nightmare – and, when it all boils down, willing to tear a family apart over a different kind of toothbrush and toothpaste than their bigoted mind was used to.

I’m broken-hearted that this person put us into a position that we cannot possibly trust others who listened to the gossip related to this matter.

So, this left my family at a cross-roads.

We have our suspicions of the specific person who did this, only made more solid when all family members said how sad they were we did go through that hell, even while assuring us it wasn’t them. The one we suspected the most (almost completely) from the begining, told us we were lying, CPS never comes over things like this, we were ruining her family, etc. Pretty much, standard guilty-people, narcissistic talk, accusing the victims.

When the family members were told the exact reasons we believed who it was (I think it may be obvious from reading above), including how we watched them lie to various family members while doing things to pit family members against each other (and the other family members do know this happened), make fun of them behind their backs, enable unsafe issues by denying a member that had been an alcoholic… they accused me of being jealous of how close they all were, being unforgiving, and living in my past.
Yes, these lovely folks (and most of them are for the most part) not only realized that I suffer from PTSD, but told me my experiences and lessons learned from that don’t matter, I should just go right on trusting them after they’ve gossiped, listened to gossip, and been untrustworthy. Never mind they’re allowed to be humans with experiences, connections, and lessons they could learn and apply later on (which one of the family members shared with me a horrific happening in their childhood that they said would never let them call CPS and strip a family apart) – I am not allowed to. If I do anything to protect my family from those who would have my children kidnapped, it’s insane jealousy. Sure, whatever. I can’t help them reconnect with our family, if they refuse to see their dangerous part of the issue to begin with. {sigh}

Until the reporter confesses, and the rest of Daryl’s family has no contact with the reporter, we can trust no one in a family that takes part in gossiping about us, working themselves up in unfounded worry and fear (this has happened multiple times; this is not the first time, just the worst time). This gossiping, which has been habitual since I’ve known them, has now cost them our trust with them regarding the safety and well-being of our children. Only when the caller confesses can we even remotely begin to trust the others, also willing to partake in this gossiping for years now.

I’m beginning a series of posts, beginning with this one, in the hopes to display how ridiculously horrific and scary CPS and its policies have become. Also, to be very careful of who you trust with your children – if you have a red flag, always listen to it. Another blogging Mom recently had a “lovely” neighbor call CPS on her for letting her children play outside. This has got to stop! Parenting differently than you does not make someone else abusive or neglectful.

“Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.” ~ Proverbs 26:20