All or Nothing: Ghosting or Public Call-Outs

Standard
9 times out of 10, when you have mounting problem with someone who is good-willed, you haven’t brought it to them before, and you are not able to move past it (which is not negative), the best course of action is to go directly to them in love and talk about it with them. Privately.
 
Ghosting them is childish and absolutely confusing to the person in this situation (which is a vastly different situation than “ghosting” an evil-willed/abusive person) and calling them out in a public way if you’ve *never* addressed the issue with them (to give them any chance of changing or sharing with you) before is typically just cruel and bullying. It’s foundation is one of disorientation and humiliation.
 
We can all be so much better than this with one another.
I am working on this aspect in myself, specifically the ghosting. Ghosting has become my default in trauma survival, the complete opposite of the doormat I allowed myself to be for nearly 3 decades. But what helped me survive coming out of that abuse, no longer works as I am trying to thrive.

None of us are perfect. It is to our own personal detriment to demand it of others when we cannot possibly be, ourselves. All we can do is try to better ourselves and encourage our loved ones to, as well.

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