Rick & Mortification

Standard
rick-is-saying-i-dont-give-a-fuck-what-you-think-jerryI took Melody to the library yesterday and I went to print some stuff off in the computer lab.
I spotted an old friend in there (I’ll call him Rick – he is much like Rick, from Rick & Morty – nihilistic, highly intelligent, thinks he is always right), told him he looked really good and healthy, and asked him how he was doing. Rick looked surprised and whispered, ‘really? Man, I haven’t had a shower in around a week.’ He’s been homeless for a few weeks, the dozenth or more time since I have known him.
Rick used to live with Daryl for awhile, for almost a year before we were married. He is a Believer – a strict one, but one at any rate. The moment Daryl asked Rick why he had told another friend (who had previously been romantically interested in me) that Daryl was awkward with them there (none of us were), Rick bolted.
When Rick lives with women (his strictness is, of course, in areas that don’t rob him of his own desires, like many of us!), the same pattern emerges. His male roommates, too. He sees his children, who all live locally, intermittently, with months going by between visits and no urgency to be with them. I wouldn’t bring this aspect of detachment in, if it didn’t influence the entirety of our interaction with Rick the last 24 hours.
I felt an urgency to bring him home for food and fellowship. I’ve I’ve not felt that with him before, even when asking him over and over to come have dinner with us, go do an activity with us, etcetera, even when he has been frequently homeless before.
Rick left the computer lab before I had a chance to implore him, but I spotted him waiting on a different side of the building as we were leaving.
I got out and told him the pressure, intensity, and urgency I was feeling, and that if he didn’t come with me, even just for dinner, I would be up all night, sick to my stomach, probably crying, and worried for him. After several moments of him saying he was fine, telling me where he was squatting, and reiterating he was going to be fine, I convinced him to come for dinner.
Daryl convinced him to stay the night and I could drive him anywhere he needed today.
He started talking about why he doesn’t go to church anymore – no one “except those adventists” (said with a sneer) “worship’s God on His commanded Sabbath anymore, so I just rest and worship by myself on the real Sabbath.” So, he has made sure he has no church family to be emotionally connected to.

When Rick said this about God’s time and Sabbath, I said, “Oh, there’s a book you might love!” He asked me who wrote it and I barely finished saying the author when he said with a laughing scoff, “No thanks,” cutting me off from finishing (I had no idea if it was because it was an unfamiliar author or a woman and either is a plausible issue for him). I finished with, “it’s about God giving the moon and sun and stars as time measures, and how His calendar is not what we use anymore – the one today deliberately disconnects us from His creation. Basically what you are saying, expounded into how it really robs us in more than a day of church.”

He was mentioning he thought he might have cancer, but was too afraid to see a dr about it, and couldn’t afford medicine anyway. (This isn’t anything that alarmed me, it merely adds to the oddity of this morning.) He talked about the Illuminati with Melody, who is fascinated with how deep that network may reach into society, and he mentioned how they control everything (cool, dude, we’re right there with you). He talked with me about feminism – and was open to learning the differences between liberal feminism and radical feminism.

After Daryl went to bed, Rick stayed up with the kids and I, texting on his phone and chatting with us. Leela turned on some Twenty-One Pilots and Rick said, “Yeah, I don’t listen to satanic music like this, anymore.” Uhhh… okay dude. If that’s the reality of that band situation (and heck, maybe it is), that’s really not the way to help a brother or sister out. {laughs}

 

I just had these things resting in my mind, feeling sad for him that he closed off to learning more of God and trusting that God would protect his heart and mind while learning new things, and feeling sad that he felt a need to elevate himself by pulling others down. It’s not even subtle.

This morning, as I was making breakfast and getting supplements together, including celery juice, Melody made a comment that she wished we could go one morning without the celery juice. Rick made a joke about turning 18 and never having to drink it again. We all laughed a little. Then I said, “well, it’s a helper to kill out the Epstein-Barr Virus, so we take it and other stuff as long as it takes to kill the virus.”

 

{sigh}
I’ve had a big long post waiting in the queue, waiting to post it until it was just perfect, until I had all my thoughts formulated to guard against onlooking Christians who may be horrified and think I am somehow into some sort of spiritual dark art or witchcraft…. but I am not going to wait for that post anymore. I will post it some day, but that is not this day. Think what you may.
Rick said, “So, CELERY JUICE is going to kill a virus? If you have to do it for so long, it’s not effective. How do you know you have Epstein-Barr Virus? What is that?” (Good questions, not the issue here, either.) I told him that it wasn’t just celery juice, that there were many foods and teas and things from God’s earth that could restore a body to its normal healthy state; that if a body has had a virus for a few decades does he expect a week of *anything* to cure it?; I know I have it because I have verifiable “evidence” that my thyroid has been slowly dying and unless there is radioactive thryoid issues – ALL thyroid issues are from EBV, so I can treat the root of EBV rather than life-long try to keep my thyroid working; then I told him what EBV is and how it’s come about.
Then he asked me how I learned all of this (again, good question). I told him who I learned it from – a man that says he speaks with and hears from the Holy Spirit of God, who is offering healing to sick and broken people. Rick rolled his eyes and said, “that’s BS. people who say that are trying to con others.”
I asked him if the Holy Spirit healed people physically. Rick told me no, and I said, “what about the Old Testament?” Rick said, “yeah, but when Jesus came, that didn’t need to happen anymore.”
Me, “Rick, are you forgetting that Jesus made blind men SEE with smearing dirt and water on their eyes? Why are vegetables a sign of witchcraft? Are you remembering that not only did Christ heal people’s spirits and offer them salvation, He healed their emotional hearts and their physical bodies? He told His disciples – that’s all of us – to go out and DO THE SAME.”
He told me, “well, of course Jesus did that, because He’s God, but we don’t do that any more.”
Me, “so… after the Bible was completed in writing, the Spirit of God healing people in all ways imaginable…. died? Or… what?”
“I didn’t say the Holy Spirit died! I said we don’t do it anymore.”
“Rick, you sneered at a person claiming God’s healing for others – is it that we don’t do it anymore… or that we SHOULDN’T do it anymore?”
He couldn’t answer. He just said something about trying to manipulate and con people.
“Sure, Rick, that’s true. Maybe he is! Maybe! He’s no more or less able to do that than the western pharma industrial complex that is impossibly tied to the illuminati and the occult you know is certainly evil – but you called my judgment into suspect if I didn’t go to western medicine to prove something for me…. an entity built on corruption and lies at it’s foundation. Someone claiming God wants to heal people completely… that isn’t a foundation of corruption and evil. So… why are you dismissing him?”Rick took a pause and said, “Oh, I definitely agree that hospitals and big pharma is only at it’s root corrupted. I just know God doesn’t tell His people to heal bodies – only to save souls.”
“Rick, Christ made it abundantly clear that He loves the whole, entire person that He created. He did not just bam! salvation onto people’s spirits and leave their bodies broken and hurting, he gave them psychiatric help casting demons out. He physically healed many, many people, including making disabled people walk. These were not *just* displays of His glory and power – it’s His LOVE for people. He tells us all through Scripture to do as He does, and to do it with faith that He will accomplish healing for others.”
“I don’t believe that happens now. Faith healing is a way to get money from people.”
“Okay, Rick, that’s definitely true for a lot of people – again, lots of people have faith in western medicine that doesn’t even get at the root of an issue, it masks a problem and creates even more problems. Their evaluation, tests, and treatments are all set up for a system of failure, brokenness, and making more money on the same issue later on. Still, people believe and have faith in this THING that is clearly not God’s path. Heck, even you just asked if I had gotten tested and verified by liars and crooks, otherwise anything else would be unbelievable… even though you just agreed that western medicine is evil. Why is western medicine evil, but you prompted that I should seek them out for a problem, but a man who gives out all of his information for free and the treatment is vegetables, fruits, and teas that the Creator of the universe gave to us for healing…. why is he a manipulator to you?”He could never answer it.
“Rick, I believe that healing all aspects of a body has been orchestrated by God, time from creation, and simply because the timeline from Scripture to now has not been chronicled as well as the Scriptures, does not make the Holy Spirit’s voice to us, His healing all parts of our bodies unimportant or dead, now.”
Rick stressed that he never said the Holy Spirit’s work was dead.
“Rick, you never said those words, sure. If He once healed blind men and women bleeding endlessly for decades, and commanded His disciples to (of which we are a part of), but you are saying He doesn’t do that anymore – you are implying that aspect of His divine nature is dead and no longer active and working within US.”
I took a really deep breath because what prompted this conversation wasn’t actually any of what we had just talked about… it was a root issue. And a few years ago, I would have said nothing, for a variety of reasons, all of which deny God’s glory and power in my life.

“Rick, last night we talked excitedly about how males and females are not equal. We have different strengths and weaknesses in our physical bodies, and that the equality is in our value as humans loved by God. That was so awesome. In this same 12 hours you have been in this home that we have invited you into and will continue to, you have talked to and about this family in a way none of us have ever spoken to or of you. I am not angry or even insulted. I am saying something to you because each of these things that happened are because you have judged something as not as good as you or your decisions and you made it very clear.”
“Wait, what? What did I say or do?”
I noted the book dismissal and said, “You know how easy it is to read and disagree with a new author? You can keep a book or website in one ‘hand’ and Scripture in the other, and ask God to keep you aligned with Him. Refusing to read *anything* you don’t currently agree with stagnates growth and prevents us from actually learning more about God’s divine nature and plan. The book I told you about – it’s saying what you were talking about, but you sneered at my suggestion and I didn’t even get to finish the author’s name, man!”
When I mentioned the ‘satanic’ music comment and how it sounded so judgmental, he said he wasn’t judging us. I asked him, “well, then, what did you say it for? No one asked you, did they? It was a very weird thing to say, unprompted. So… why did you say it? To shame me into listening to what you listen to?”
“No, I don’t need to do that.”
“Then why? To let me know your standards are higher and you are better in this area? If so, I am sad for you that you feel the need to lift yourself up by shoving others down. If not… again… why?”
“No, man…. I don’t think I am better…. nawh…..”
“Rick, that isn’t a comment that slips out. Telling someone you don’t listen to satanic music like THIS is not a slip out. I don’t see any profit or love in it, either. Maybe you are right. Maybe this is a satanic group. Do you think saying it the way that you did will help me choose not to listen to it? If you know it’s not going to help me, why say it?
Rick, you stand on a street corner with a sign that tells people to repent and turn to Christ. Do you know that, while Daryl and I do not think that’s nuts – the world around you does? If someone does ANYTHING different from their culture, even if their culture is toxic, they are seen as crazy or kookie. And you are a part of that, because you have faith and hope in God. You stand on a street corner and proclaim a message that is not what most people do including Christians – and I have zero doubt, this is God working out in you. Even though I don’t feel compelled to do that. It’s not His calling in MY life. I don’t think you are a kook for doing it, though, simply because it’s not my calling or passion or learning right now.”

Rick just stood there and looked shocked when I mentioned his holding a sign up on street corners.
“When I mention God at work through HIS creation for body healing, you sneer at me and those that believe and have faith in the God of wonders, that He can move and live and breathe in us, however He wants… that His miracles and healing are not dead and gone, they are present and here right now, and they are in His power and glory! Rick, I have never spoken to you the way that you have since you have been welcomed into this space with us. I have never tried to make you feel devalued or not good enough or some unworthy heathen for the violent, bloody video games you choose to play or any other thing. I just don’t understand why you see this family who loves you, welcomes you into their home with the love of Christ, and feel any need to make the comments you have made. I don’t want to shove you down to make myself feel lifted up – I want to pull others up alongside me as I rise with Christ. Your different beliefs do not make you less worthy or some sort of vile heathen to us, even when you have chosen cutting remarks to us.”

He mumbled something and went into the room he had slept in. I sighed and starting dishing out breakfast. I knew what was coming and said aloud so he could hear through the hall, “I am dishing out breakfast. I know the emotions are high right now, and even I would love to run away, but I am asking you to stay with a family who loves you and build deeper than you are used to.”
He came from down the hall and said, “thank you, I really do have somewhere I need to get to, but thank you for offering to feed me.” He opened my front door and I said, “Rick, God has placed an entire family in your path that loves you. God doesn’t desire for people to be squatting in ________. He has a hope and a future for you, He has connection and family for you. And you can’t build into His community if you hold yourself above it and refuse to have fellowship with people that are more lowly sinners than you are.”
He would say “alright” between sentences.
“I know you are running away right now, but you are not being evicted from here, you are welcome to come back and challenge yourself to relationships that are hard and beautiful and actually meaningful. Please don’t stay away.”
And then he left.

I stood there, with tears in my eyes, for a good solid minute, feeling sad and heartbroken for him, feeling frustrated with myself that I may have said too much or too little or anything in the first place.
Soon, I felt a feeling wash over me that I never have in a circumstance filled with struggle and ache. This is what he needed to be here for.
I haven’t felt…. “good” about that, I haven’t even felt comforted, but I haven’t felt a need to beat myself up over it either. I am just letting it rest within me, that God did call Rick to our home for a reason and that reason might not have been a physical protection for him like I initially suspected. I am also accepting the fact that in God’s plan, ache and pain are often a precursor to growth. I also know that I didn’t say anything untrue, unkind, or vindictive. All I can do, is pray, that whatever God needed him to come for, he received.

This was a good mirror for my own life, my own ways, and this has been good for a “log” moment as much as grieving for a friend. My sins/burdens are not the same as what he was offering into our life, but there are certainly elements that mirror and the essence of sin – rebellion against God’s good ways, His ultimate guidance of Love, has still pricked at my heart.

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