Food Grieving

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I gave up gluten half a decade ago, wondering if it was causing my arthritis – it was. I remember being in a kind of fellowship “mourning” for a time.

 

“I am used to cooking most things from scratch, so cooking at home isn’t a big deal. But, there is literally no more eating out for me, not even to friend’s houses, really.
There’s gluten in everything. Bread, muffins, cakes, cookies, cream soups, soy sauce. *sigh*
I won’t miss gluten. I’ll miss the fellowship that surrounds food so often, foods that contain gluten. Even at Bible study last night, everyone was mowing chocolate chip cookies someone else made, and while my mouth was drooling, I know what it will do to me if I chance it too much. So, I tried to distance myself from the cookies for a bit.
I know I need to get to a point where I can sit and talk, eating nothing, while everyone else eats some goodies… I’m not there yet. I feel like I should be there immediately.”

Then, I got over it… I just prepared food before going places, in case there was nothing for me.

Sometime between then and when I went Paleo (I’ve only been doing Paleo just over a year), I really started seeing every single get together be food-centric… but, not in a pleasant way. More like this: No, Your Kid May Not Have a Snack.

I stopped having any inkling of missing out and wondered… why are we eating so often, even when we just ate a meal, even when we may not really be hungry in any way, even when we’re about to have a meal.

Then I went Paleo. I really didn’t have a mourning period with this. In fact, I was so appreciative to see my body get healthier, not just symptoms I knew were present (like mood issues), but things I’d just thought were normal for my endocrine disorder (like weight gain despite having no appetite and barely eating anything), that “missing out” at get togethers was no longer a thing. It was more like a blessing to avoid it!

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been seeing a response, much like my response to dairy, to foods with decent glutamate content. This brings mood disturbance.

I find I am feeling food grief all over again. I wonder… “what will be left to eat when I find all the things my body does not do well with?” It’s not fellowship-related this time. It’s logistics-related. It’s easy enough to find Paleo recipes… but no- or low-glutamate on top of this? This eliminates many of the nourishing foods I love so well… bone broth, gelatin, fermented foods, among many others, including a variety of nuts.

In the midst of this mourning, I am finding myself grateful that I live in a place where not only knowing what makes me sick is a reality because of anatomical/genetic understandings, but I can afford to avoid these foods, as difficult as it can be emotionally.

This all leads me to wonder about things such as NAET and BioSet. I just purchased Ellen Cutler’s Kindle book and am contemplating it. I will be updating on home-working as I go, as I can.

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5 responses »

  1. That article was wonderful! They will not starve going 2 hours with out food! It is funny I still sometimes “grieve” over foods but only the ones with good memories attached…cooking with grandma at the holidays and so on…
    I am going to go pm you on AO ’cause I have too much to say for this little box ha!

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    • I totally get that, MaF! I’m still trying to figure out how to make “Paleo” spaghetti-O’s, because of the childhood memories attached. 🙂 And lately, I’ve wanted to make bird’s nests, the chow mein noodles covered in melted chocolate and butterscotch chips with cashews or something mixed in.
      I read the other message – I will get back with it! 🙂

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      • “bird nests!” that is so much prettier than “alien droppings” which is what my family called them when I was a little kid 😛
        I can not eat chocolate anymore but the kids have made them with little dehydrated zucchini shreds and nuts… not quite the same texture but not bad.

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    • Have you ever read about hyper-immune colostrum? If you look up Jerry Brunetti along with it, you will find something! He put out a DVD awhile back about his regimen with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I can’t do dairy right now, but if I could, colostrum would be in my “must utilize for health” list.
      That is awesome that it is helping you!

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