I am a tenacious researcher. I truly love digging in and finding new, natural ways of doing things.
Most of my friends and family know this and many have come to me asking that I help them on their own research journey.
For the last couple of years, I have continued helping when I can, often being overwhelmed with not only my own researching, but generally researching for 2-4 other people at a time. I don’t just toss an hour to someone, I often pour a day or more into finding needed health information.
What I have typically seen is friends who ask me to spend my time looking for alternative info, don’t spend their own time researching, then choose to cut, poison, or burn their body based off being fear-mongered by a modern, small-scope doctor.
I never had a coherent thought about this, what I felt about it, until today. Just that I was growing increasingly uneasy about friends or family who asked me to spend my time researching for them.
Today, Melody went out with some friends on a bike ride, and had some garbage gum from a convenience store. Doesn’t seem like a big deal – except that she and Daryl both told me they wanted to do Whole30 with me this month, which ends on Wednesday… and now I have no way to gauge what symptoms would be from the Juicy Fruit or the newly introduced foods.
She knew this was an “unapproved” item.
This was a very tight financial month and the grains and legumes I have stocked in our pantry would have helped me stretch our grocery budget… instead, I was stressed about providing Whole30-compliant meals on our most limited funds to date.
And, Daryl continued smoking this whole time, which was gnawing away at me.
It made me finally realize why I’d felt a growing unease when people would ask me to research for them.
I’ve researched ADD botanicals/diets only for the person to choose to keep their kid on a more expensive Pharma that they said they couldn’t afford and didn’t like the side effects of. I’ve researched pelvic floor prolapse for someone, only for them to tell me *they* don’t have time to look at the info they asked *me* to spend time looking up for them. I’ve researched healthy living practices that are proven to eliminate rheumatoid arthritis, only to be told eating healthy is too difficult, they are just going to take the meds that are causing side effects they don’t like, like an inability to nurse their little one.
I have never assumed people “better” or should follow the information I give them. I generally give so many different options, that it wouldn’t be wise to follow them all! Very truly, while I hope for my friends to have better health, and I am certain it won’t be found from modern medicine, but I have no desire to force anything upon them.
Today, I realized how devalued these people have made me feel. Asking me to spend my valuable time, as though it’s nothing really, to look up info they thought their time was too valuable to spend themselves… that they really had no intention of paying attention to or taking seriously anyway. It’s THEIR HEALTH they want help with… but want to do nothing about for themselves.
This doesn’t make sense to me. I offer my help freely to others, but it costs me time with my family. It costs me my own energy – because I am invested in helping.
When I seek other’s help to heal myself naturally, I offer them money or trade, because I truly 1) value their time and 2) value alternative information and plan to take it seriously. When help comes to me freely, I make sure the person is honored by my words and actions towards them. And frankly, I take treating my temple, the place the Holy Spirit dwells within me, very seriously, so those that don’t, confuse me.
Today, I make a change. I won’t help others research who aren’t willing to research alongside me for their own health, sharing information together… or those that don’t have time to invest in their own health by researching for themselves can give me a love offering of money because I am giving their health time and concern they aren’t willing to.
My time and attention for others is not invaluable – everyone’s time and attention is valuable and should be honored.