A couple of months ago, someone who celebrates and supports family birth casually mentioned the circumcision of their unborn child, if they were to be a boy. It caused a lot of confusion and heartache, as frankly, these two issues do not blend together, at all. They are the antithesis of one another. This was my attempt at lovingly sharing why they are not compatible with one another:
You know all of us free-birthers would fight tooth and nail for a momma and her body to be respected, to not be cut open or parts cut off if she had no say or knowledge of what it meant short and long term. We extend that respect to adults of either gender AND to infants, who cannot say, “I want my vagina probed to see if it looks normal” or “no!! Please don’t slice 1/3 of my penis off! I’m not ready! What will this do to me.”
Most family birthers are seeking protection from doctors and midwives who want to take authority over our bodies and tell us it was their belief that it was “necessary,” and from a culture that tells us we should shut up and be grateful to the people who want to do that to us.
When you were asked to further expand on your comment, you have refused to answer, trying to shut down on this topic, and have made it about your beliefs (which you brought up, but refuse to expand on? I don’t know why you brought it up if you didn’t want to inform those who have built a relationship with you on informing, protecting, and encouraging bodily autonomy) instead of your baby being touched in a way that assaults the very core of our beliefs.
Were you to hold this belief and accept that I will not stop fighting for adults AND infants to be protected, your different belief doesn’t matter. But you’re basically requiring me to stand up for your bodily autonomy and ignore your son’s, because you believe/support something you refuse to enlighten about. I don’t get it.
I’ve loved your sharing. I think you can be invaluable and encouraging. But we all have to be willing to be called out on our crap, because this relationship-building is based on not candy-coating the crap we’ve been fed all our lives regarding bodily autonomy.