It all began September 8…

Standard

No, that’s not true, really, when I stop to think about it.

It began before that. It began the moment Daryl told me he treasured our friendship, that he wanted me as his friend for life, and that he loved me. When I felt loved by the best man in the world. That’s when this began.

Several members of his family being paranoid about lifestyle choices most Americans don’t make (but plenty of healthy people do, around the world). Hating me. Being closed-minded, unwilling to learn anything more than their own viewpoint. Not asking me questions (though, sometimes they’d ask Daryl. Mostly, they would just “voice their concerns,” not asking why we do what we do, because really.. they didn’t care why, they just wanted us to know they “didn’t feel comfortable with” our decisions as parents) when they are concerned about something they think I believe or do.

But it got scary serious on September 8 – when two CPS officers came to our door.


I did the thing that all good lawyers recommend their client do when dealing with CPS. Don’t let them in the house, don’t let your children out of the house, and don’t let your children talk with them – all things that many innocent and gullible people believe you should do if you’re innocent. (Wrong. Just ask the Pellitiers, the Godboldos, the Lethbridges, or any number of parents and children victimized by CPS.)

Apparently, someone called in a complaint that we were “dentally neglecting” only one of our children (the information CPS gave us for “this child” wasn’t even accurate and was easily proven false), by refusing to take them to see a dentist when they have dental decay.

First, wait up: we don’t have a child that fits that description – we don’t even have a child that could even accidentally be thought to look like the description – this is a bogus call. You can leave now.

Second,  none of my three children have dental decay – really, you can leave. My oldest is terrified right now and it is you, CPS, coming on a deceptive call, that is disturbing her.

Third, had the gossiper who felt the need to be my children’s parent(s) bothered to ask me or my husband… the genuine parents, they would have found that the one time Melody did have dental decay, a dentist took a look at it and told me to let it fall out, as it was “just a baby tooth.” I went above and beyond the dentist’s recommendation, and worked to heal the cavitySeriously, don’t waste your time coming back, waste tax payer money over gossiped false claims of neglect based on assumptions, and waste my daughter’s heart who is now terrified that CPS is going to kidnap her and strip her away from the parents who love her and have done everything to protect, heal, and guard her in every area of her life.

Important article, click picture to read Legal Medical Kidnapping


What. the. crap. This a waste of tax payer dollars and the CPS’s “valuable” time. There are families with actual physical assault, sexual abuse, and nutritional neglect (like the Standard American Diet my in-laws hopped my daughter up on while she was with them, filled with soda every day, and fast food that she was told “don’t tell your parents about this”) going on within them to actually help.

But, no. It doesn’t matter that the information that they were given – all of it – is wrong. They still really want to question our oldest daughter, “just to make sure.” Make sure, that even though I just gave you the dentist’s name (don’t give even that – I regret it!), that she can verify… what, exactly? Oh, that’s right… they want to ask questions unrelated to dental neglect.

They promised that they would let us sit in on their questions with Melody, but I already know that is a deception. They will – at first – but then once any little thing is said, taken out of context for their own purposes and sense of heightened fear in every single situation they encounter, they will demand to talk with her alone.


We know this was one of Daryl’s family, as mid-August, Melody spent a week with Daryl’s dad and stepmom. One night, Melody pulled out her miswak toothbrush and homemade remineralizing toothpaste, and the stepmom made a funny deal about it… they proceeded to buy Melody a “real” toothbrush (because only America makes real toothbrushes…. plastic crap is  better than anything God made, right?), crap-filled toothpaste, and alcoholic mouthwash. Melody said that the next day, Daryl’s stepmom started questioning her, an 11 year old, by asking, “So why doesn’t your mom take you to the dentist?” (cute, right? Not, “Does your mom take you to the dentist?” but a leading question for a 11 year old who doesn’t realize what is being done to her).
Daryl’s stepmom should be asking philosophical questions of a person’s beliefs from… you know, the person she wants to know about, rather than tricking an 11 year old into gossiping. (This slander/gossip, was later ignored by the entire family, and we’re still “needing to apologize” for proving this woman’s lying, gossiping, division with everyone in the family, and endangerment of our children – there was not any attempt to protect our children, by them, in this. It’s all deflected and projected onto the parents who are desperate to protect their children.)

Melody came home, and a few days later, a relative who is constantly blessing us with gifts, sent us a big supply of Tom’s of Maine toothpaste and bamboo toothbrushes. She works hard to bless us with natural/organic things when she gifts us.

She and her husband also forced Daryl and his grandmother into getting flu vaccines injected into their bodies one year, when neither of them wanted it… which is why Daryl suspected it could also be this relative, trying to force medical decisions on his family, again… despite that it’s not in her standard pattern of behavior. (And this is why CPS allowing “anonymous” callers is evil and horrible – all it does is divide people and terrorize entire families because 1 person was too much of a coward to put their name beside “standing up for a child.”)


I laughed to Daryl, as I told him it was obvious his stepmom or dad had called this other relative and gossiped about the “dental issue” they thought was going on from stepmom’s conversation with Melody… the one she deliberately didn’t ask me about, or my husband, to confirm anything.

No one else had spoken to us of dental issues but his family. We didn’t think much of that crap happening when it did, because it seemed so ridiculous that a 60-some-odd-year-old woman deliberately talked about me behind my back, would not check any information that she was spreading around, and had the gall to tell me in previous years, after other members of his family verbally attacked us, that she “didn’t want to get in the middle of anything.” (Just around the time she was showing my private facebook messages to another in-law to rile them up and cause division between us… right, staying right out of it. {sarcasm}) 

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates friends.” ~ Proverbs 16:28

I didn’t mention her bizarre questioning of my daughter to anyone else. I didn’t mention the toothbrush issue. It was only anyone in his family who had unfounded fears about this. And who knew our address to give to CPS.


Early on the Sept. 11, I wrote:

Oh my gosh. I am so sick of feeling like Habbakuk.

I had blood drawn today for my health issues, and all I could think of on the drive back home was praying that CPS wouldn’t show up today, because I refuse to divulge my medical decisions to them, let a scumbag family member dictate to me how to raise my kids when they don’t bother researching *anything* from a different perspective than their own, and yet, I don’t want CPS thinking I am a junkie.

I don’t want the girls yelling in the house, not because it’s annoying or wakes Stryder, but because I am worried that CPS may stop by and wrongfully think that a child is being abused in my home.

I am worried that Leela or Melody may get a black and blue or a scrape from a fall before the case is closed, and someone at CPS will think they’re being abused, instead of remembering all the bruises we got from playing, when we were kids.

I’m sick to my stomach thinking of them trying to question Melody, and if they do, they will go over all their standard questions… and I know it will come up about sexual assault, and basically forcing her to process through something she is currently in therapy for, to process through slowly and gently.

Whoever was willing to put our family through this because they are an ignorant bigot who believes differently than us in what healthcare means, is so vile to me right now. This was not about concern for the welfare of a child… if it was, they would have called well over 6 months ago, before Melody’s tooth fell out (which was HEALING and a dentist told us to let fall out)…. not months after the fact. Even then, we WERE caring for her tooth. Even if we hadn’t done anything but let a baby tooth with a cavity fall out, without using the Cure Tooth Decay Protocol, that’s not freaking neglect.

Apparently, going in *after* a Standard American Diet and chemical-filled hygiene products makes someone sick and then giving all responsibility for healthcare to a virtual stranger with a stamped piece of paper is much smarter than, you know… being responsible for and maintaining your own health to begin with and rarely needing to see drs.

I am not going to call DCF on families who chose what I see is extremely unhealthy, because I’m not a total douche who thinks they can or should puppet others into doing what I think is best. It makes me so pissed off right now, that there are d-bags out there that do this to their own “family” or “friends.”

This isn’t a new topic to me. I’m not suddenly passionate about it because I am going through it. I have been passionately against this unchecked CPS system, and the abuses that happen because of “anonymous callers” and CPS workers with god-complex, for years.

When I have heard others tell me they’ve reported someone to CPS, I cringe, and I keep guard around them… because I know that they more than likely coward behind the anonymous call, rather than stand up behind their allegation proudly, in defense of a child (if they actually have proof it’s going on, which most do not).


Melody and I had both started therapy, dealing with issues from the criminal trial against my ex. Both of us have a difficult time trusting people, after the trust was shattered by him.

Melody has been so heartbroken that someone manipulated her by asking these questions instead of coming to me to ask them, and someone used what she said to call an agency that has the ability to strip our family apart. This beautiful girl, who normally has 1-2 nightmares a year, had 5 in the “30 business days” that our CPS “case” was open. All containing either her and the littles being kidnapped or being murdered in someone else’s house. She is now afraid to play outside again. She has told me that she doesn’t want to trust anyone again – that just when she thought she could trust her step-grandmother, she was tricked by her.

My hair had been falling out in small, yet noticeable clumps before this, but had started healing. Once this CPS thing happened, the clumps became much bigger, and I have whole sections of hair that are now shock white. I was terrified for months to let my children squeal in our house, rough-house, or play outside together.

My husband no longer wants to share any of our personal life with his family – the family we’ve both wanted to be close with, have our children connect with, and get to know… but so many steps of the way, they have gossipped and avoided actually getting to know us (again, we’ve often heard “concerns” but not many attempts to research why we believe what we believe, i.e. getting to know who we are), and dismissed his beliefs and choices as a parent simply because it’s different, without researching the why behind any different perspectives.

Someone who calls themselves our “family” did this to us.


This had made me so disgusted and angry with the caller – they were willing to rob their other family members of interaction with us. They are willing to divide family members. 
By calling CPS, they were willing to have our children taken from the entire family – there’s no sure thing that if children are taken from their parents, that they will be placed with relatives, in fact, it’s statistically unlikely.

They were willing to put my oldest daughter, who has been molested as a young child (and is now safe from that), into a situation where she could be forced into talking about her assaults. They were willing to risk the chance that my children could be corralled into foster homes that have a higher incidence of rape, molestation, physical abuse, and murder, than in most of the homes they were taken from to begin with.


They were willing to breed lies, gossip, and distrust in the rest of their family.

I was angry that they were willing to put my children, whom we dearly love, through a hellish nightmare – and, when it all boils down, willing to tear a family apart over a different kind of toothbrush and toothpaste than their bigoted mind was used to.

I’m broken-hearted that this person put us into a position that we cannot possibly trust others who listened to the gossip related to this matter.


So, this left my family at a cross-roads.

We have our suspicions of the specific person who did this, only made more solid when all family members said how sad they were we did go through that hell, even while assuring us it wasn’t them. The one we suspected the most (almost completely) from the begining, told us we were lying, CPS never comes over things like this, we were ruining her family, etc. Pretty much, standard guilty-people, narcissistic talk, accusing the victims.

When the family members were told the exact reasons we believed who it was (I think it may be obvious from reading above), including how we watched them lie to various family members while doing things to pit family members against each other (and the other family members do know this happened), make fun of them behind their backs, enable unsafe issues by denying a member that had been an alcoholic… they accused me of being jealous of how close they all were, being unforgiving, and living in my past.
Yes, these lovely folks (and most of them are for the most part) not only realized that I suffer from PTSD, but told me my experiences and lessons learned from that don’t matter, I should just go right on trusting them after they’ve gossiped, listened to gossip, and been untrustworthy. Never mind they’re allowed to be humans with experiences, connections, and lessons they could learn and apply later on (which one of the family members shared with me a horrific happening in their childhood that they said would never let them call CPS and strip a family apart) – I am not allowed to. If I do anything to protect my family from those who would have my children kidnapped, it’s insane jealousy. Sure, whatever. I can’t help them reconnect with our family, if they refuse to see their dangerous part of the issue to begin with. {sigh}

Until the reporter confesses, and the rest of Daryl’s family has no contact with the reporter, we can trust no one in a family that takes part in gossiping about us, working themselves up in unfounded worry and fear (this has happened multiple times; this is not the first time, just the worst time). This gossiping, which has been habitual since I’ve known them, has now cost them our trust with them regarding the safety and well-being of our children. Only when the caller confesses can we even remotely begin to trust the others, also willing to partake in this gossiping for years now.

I’m beginning a series of posts, beginning with this one, in the hopes to display how ridiculously horrific and scary CPS and its policies have become. Also, to be very careful of who you trust with your children – if you have a red flag, always listen to it. Another blogging Mom recently had a “lovely” neighbor call CPS on her for letting her children play outside. This has got to stop! Parenting differently than you does not make someone else abusive or neglectful.

“Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.” ~ Proverbs 26:20

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3 responses »

  1. Pingback: I’M the Shrew? | Beautiful Chaos

  2. Pingback: Better Safe Than Sorry? | Beautiful Chaos

  3. Pingback: Realizing You’ve Been Spun by a Narcissist | Beautiful Chaos

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